LOG #028
"THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS"
An Original Screenplay
by
Steve Kloves
WARNER BROS.INC.
4000 Warner Boulevard
Burbank, California 91522
April, 1985
(C) 1985
WARNER BROS. INC.
All Rights Reserved
"THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS"
FADE IN:
JACK BAKER
is standing before a dirty window, looking
out at a dirty city street. He is wearing a tuxedo.
VOICE (O.S.)
Hey.
WIDEN ANGLE
It's the GIRL from this afternoon.
JACK
Hey.
Jack looks at the Girl, sleepy and warm under the
bedcovers, then at the rest of the apartment.
Not good.
GIRL
Whatcha doin' over there?
JACK
Gotta go.
GIRL
How come?
JACK
Job.
The Girl glances at the bedside clock.
GIRL
Funny hours.
JACK
Funny job.
GIRL
Will I see you again?
Jack looks out at the dirty street again.
JACK
No.
The Girl doesn't appear terribly unnerved by this.
GIRL
(at the tux)
You weren't wearing that, were
you? Earlier.
Jack shakes his head, taps a brown paper bag on
the sill.
JACK
Brought it.
GIRL
Shit, thank God. You look like a creep.
JACK
Thanks.
GIRL
I mean, I'd hate to think I'd pick up someone
who wore that shit.
Jack smiles, grabs the paper bag, and moves to
the door.
GIRL
(continuing)
Hey.
(as he stops)
You got great hands.
EXT. STREET - JACK
Jack ain't exactly Cary Grant, but any guy wearing
a tux on these streets doesn't exactly mesh with
the milieu. Pausing for a flask of whiskey at an
all-night liquor store, he breaks the seal before
he hits the sidewalk and moves on, drinking as he
goes. Finally, he comes to a nice downtown hotel.
Slipping the bottle in his coat, he squints up at
the glittering building as if sizing up an opponent.
DOORMAN
Hey, Jackie!
JACK
How goes it, Tommy?
TOMMY (DOORMAN)
(shrugging)
Ah, you know. Howsa pooch?
JACK
Losing his teeth.
TOMMY
No shit. It's the goddamn water. Kill an ox.
I buy bottled for my Danny. You can't trust
the taps.
JACK
Yeah.
(standing back)
Jesus, you look like fucking
royalty, Tommy.
Tommy brushes at his new velvet coat.
TOMMY
Yeah. The big boys sent it down
yesterday.
JACK
Another five years, huh?
TOMMY
Like clockwork. You got a good
memory, Jackie.
JACK
It ain't always a blessing. My
brother here?
TOMMY
(nodding)
He's got blood in his eye.
Jack glances at his watch, waves to Tommy, and
moves into the hotel.
INT. HOTEL - ANGLE ON FRANK
Jack's older brother, FRANK, is pacing outside the
lounge when he sees Jack approaching.
FRANK
Great. Terrific. Glad you could
make it.
JACK
How we doing?
FRANK
How we ... ? What, are you kidding
me?
JACK
Am I late?
FRANK
That's not the point.
JACK
(taking out a cigarette)
What's the point?
FRANK
You cannot continue to walk in at
the last moment, Jack.
JACK
You want me to show up late a few
nights?
FRANK
Jack.
JACK
Frank.
FRANK
Jack.
JACK
Frank. I'm here. I always get
here. Don't sweat it.
FRANK
Christ, will you look at your hair?
ANOTHER ANGLE
Jack turns to the wall, which is paneled in tiny
tinted mirrors shot through with veins of gold.
JACK
What's wrong with it?
FRANK
You look like you just crawled out
of bed.
JACK
No one's gonna be looking at my
hair. Come on, we're on.
Frank just stands there, bottled up with
exasperation.
JACK
(continuing)
Careful, Frank. When you get angry your
tie starts to spin.
Jack steps into the lounge and Frank, shaking his
head, follows. As they move away, a cardboard
stand-up is revealed. On it are two 8 X 10 glossies
of Frank and Jack, and below printed in bold letters,
this: "Tonight! The Doubly Delightful Tones of the
Fabulous Baker Boys!"
BAKER BROTHERS
as they make their way through the dimly-lit lounge
and settle behind matching pianos, it becomes apparent
that what the "Fabulous Baker Boys" are, in fact, is a
poor man's version of Ferrante and Teicher.
WIDER ANGLE INCLUDING LOUNGE
As they begin to plink out their "theme song" tables
of middle-aged couples sipping enormous banana
daiquiries begin to tap their feet and bob their heads.
After a few bars, the boys finish with a flourish and
the couples applaud.
FRANK
(Mr. Smile)
Thank you. Thank you. Good evening and welcome
to the Starfire lounge. My name is Frank Baker
and eighty-eight keys across from me is my
little brother, Jack.
Applause. Little brother Jack smiles, winks, and takes
a draw on his cigarette.
FRANK
(continuing; could do this in his sleep)
You know, my brother and I have been playing
together, gosh, I don't know. How long has it
been, Jack?
JACK
Twenty-eight years, Frank.
Applause.
FRANK
That's a lot of water under the
bridge, eh, Jack?
JACK
Lotta water.
FRANK
Of course, back then, things were a little
different. I was eight, Jack was seven, just
about the only song we knew was 'My Bonnie
Lies Over the Ocean', and the only one who would
listen to us was the family cat, Cecil.
(to Jack)
We must have shaved three lives off that cat,
eh, Jack?
Laughter. Jack smiles like he's got a mouth full of
razor blades.
FRANK
(continuing)
But seriously. It's been fifteen years since
Jack and I first stepped on the stage as
professionals. Three states, sixty-eight cities,
and more-grayhairs-then-we'd-like-to-admit later...
well, believe me, we've seen our share of this
crazy country of ours. But even though we've
played some of the finest venues in the world ...
At this point, Jack begins to mimic his brother's words.
FRANK
(continuing)
... There's one place that's always been, for us,
a very special place, and that place is... this
place, the Starfire lounge.
Jack lays in a few soft bass chords.
FRANK
(continuing)
Why? Well, I guess you could just say it's
the ...
(pregnant moment)
... people.
At which point Frank's hands descend onto the keyboard
and give birth to the melody of -- what else? "People.'
JACK AND FRANK - LATER
They exit the stage to applause.
FRANK
Thank you. Remember, room service is available
till one A.M. for you late-nighters.
INT. HOTEL KITCHEN
Jack and Frank pass through the steamy hotel kitchen.
FRANK
Don't make trouble, all right?
JACK
Who's gonna make trouble?
(spotting someone)
Hey, amigo!
JACK'S POV - MAN
in an apron, cutting meat off a huge soup bone,
looks up.
BACK TO SCENE
MAN
Jack!
(lower)
Frank.
FRANK
(the feeling's mutual)
Yeah, hi, Hector.
HECTOR (MAN)
(re: the soup bone)
For Eddie. I wrap.
JACK
Gracias.
FRANK
(as they exit)
I mean it, Jack. Behave.
JACK
Like an angel.
INT. OFFICE
Frank stands across the desk from a YOUNG MAN who,
despite his youth, has an irritatingly paternal
attitude toward the two men in his office. Jack stays
in the doorway, smoking a cigarette, as if to venture
any further is to risk contracting some hideous
disease.
LLOYD (YOUNG MAN)
(preparing a cash envelope)
Terrific, boys. Really. Terrific.
FRANK
Thanks, Lloyd.
LLOYD
Yes, sir. You're just what we needed on a night
like this.
FRANK
Uh ... thanks.
Frank glances at Jack and realizes he should have left
him in the kitchen with Hector and the soup bone.
LLOYD
Only, Jack, do me a favor, will ya, pal? If you
wanna smoke, put on a pair of sunglasses and go
play with the niggers on State Street. These
blisters from the midwest don't wanna watch some
guy dripping ash all over himself while he's
playing 'The Sound of Music.'
ANGLE - JACK
Smoke curls out of Jack's nose. He is utterly still,
like a pit bull eyeing a steak.
BACK TO SCENE
LLOYD
Okay, boys, that ought to buy you a few more
lessons. By the way, Frankie, I'm declaring this.
Lloyd slaps a slender envelope onto the desk and,
business closed, busies himself with other matters.
FRANK
Uh ... You don't know when you'll be wanting us
back, do you, Lloyd?
LLOYD
I'll call you.
FRANK
Uh, well, you know, the way our schedule is, I
thought maybe...
LLOYD
I'll call you.
Frank bites down and takes the envelope from the desk.
JACK
Count it.
FRANK
Huh?
JACK
Count it.
FRANK
Jack...
JACK
Count the fucking money, Frank.
Lloyd looks up. Jack is staring right into him.
Reluctantly, Frank opens the envelope.
FRANK
It's all here.
(pulling Jack out)
I'll be talking to you, Lloyd.
Lloyd doesn't answer. He just looks at Jack, smiling
with amusement.
EXT. STREET - JACK AND FRANK
Jack comes out onto the street holding the wrapped
soup bone, dogged by Frank, who's got the cardboard
stand-up under his arm.
FRANK
You mind telling me what that was about in there?
Was that planned?
Or were you just bored and decided
to get creative?
JACK
Fuck him.
FRANK
This isn't the Pine Tree Inn on
Route 81, Jack.
JACK
Fuck him.
FRANK
(to himself)
Fuck him. Great. Terrific. Fuck him.
The fabulous Bakers walk in silence until they come to
Frank's car. Frank opens the trunk and starts to put
the stand-up away.
JACK
So we on tomorrow night?
FRANK
(shaking his head)
Maybe Thursday. I hear the harpist at the
Sheraton's got appendicitis.
Jack nods and starts to walk away.
FRANK
(continuing)
Hey.
Jack stops.
FRANK
(continuing)
Listen ... why don't you come out to the house
this weekend. Say hello to the kids.
They've grown.
JACK
I hate your kids, Frank.
FRANK
You're their uncle.
JACK
Only by relation. Besides, they hate me, too.
FRANK
They don't. They're always asking about you.
JACK
They tried to electrocute me, Frank.
FRANK
It was an accident.
JACK
It was no fucking accident, Frank. The little
one ...
FRANK
Cindy.
JACK
She threw a goddamn radio into the bathtub.
How do you explain that?
FRANK
She didn't know what she was doing.
You're too sensitive.
JACK
You got weird kids, Frank.
FRANK
Look, I just thought if you came out you might
see what you're missing.
Jack just stares at Frank.
FRANK
(continuing)
Just think about it, all right?
Consider it a standing offer.
Frank closes the trunk and moves to the driver's side.
FRANK
(continuing;like a litany)
You want a ride, Jack? No, Frank,
I'll walk. Okay, Jack, good night.
Good night, Frank.
Frank turns the ENGINE OVER and pulls away from the curb.
Jack watches the taillights burn into the distance,
then takes the whiskey bottle from his coat and heads
for home.
ANGLE - APARTMENT BUILDING
Jack crosses the street and waves up to his apartment
building, where a black labrador is studying him from
a second story window.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
Jack's apartment is small, old, and comfortably
cluttered. The most striking item is a vintage phone
booth placed against the wall. As Jack lets himself in,
EDDIE, the dog from the window, walks over. He is not
an overly enthusiastic dog, but you can see from his
face that he has a great deal of affection for Jack.
JACK
Hi, pal. Thought you were gonna clean the
apartment.
Eddie nuzzles the soup bone. Jack unwraps the paper
and hands it over.
JACK
(continuing)
Take it easy, will ya? You're becoming a regular
Johhny Appleseed the way you're dropping teeth
around here.
Jack hangs his tie on the phone booth and walks over
to an old phonograph stacked six deep with discs.
He lifts the records back up the post and clicks ON the
MACHINE. As Bill Evans' smoky "PEACE PIECE" fills the
tiny apartment, Jack breaks the collar of his shirt and
walks over to the old piano near the window. Settling
back with the bottle of whiskey, Jack rests his elbows
gently on the keys and stares out the open window,
listening to the music.
INT. PIANO STORE
Jack and Frank work opposite sides of a large piano
showroom, inspecting rentals of every style and color.
WILLIE, the owner of the place, leans against a cheap
upright, contemplating his shoes.
FRANK
What happened to the two Clays, Willie?
WILLIE
Out.
FRANK
When they coming in?
WILLIE
Wednesday next.
Frank looks across the room at Jack.
FRANK
What d'ya got?,
JACK
Bosen black.
(taps a key)
Flat.
FRANK
What d'you say, Willie? Tighten her up?
WILLIE
What's the gig?
FRANK
Two nights.
Willie just looks at his shoes and shakes his head.
Frank frowns and glances around.
Across the room, Jack pauses before another piano.
FRANK
(continuing)
What d'ya got?
JACK
(tapping)
Yamaha white. Nice.
Frank moves to another grand and alternates taps with
his brother to see if the two pianos are in harmony.
FRANK
What do you think?
JACK
Try the black Knable.
Frank moves to another piano and repeats the process,
watching Jack for a verdict.
After a moment, Jack nods.
FRANK
Tag 'em, Willie. The Regency downtown,
Thursday-Friday. Thanks.
WILLIE
My pleasure.
INT. DINER
The brothers sit at a window of a corner diner,
Jack nursing an ice coffee,
Frank playing with a plate of scrambled eggs.
The glass next to them is cluttered with photographs
of neighborhood luminaries,
including two of Jack and Frank in their tuxedoes.
FRANK
You know, I think it's been five years since I
saw you eat anything. That's the God's truth.
JACK
Trust me, you're not missing anything.
FRANK
You look awful.
JACK
Thanks.
FRANK
Really. You sleeping?
JACK
Only on odd days.
FRANK
(a look)
Seeing anyone in particular?
JACK
Why the interest?
FRANK
Because I'm your brother. Because I care about
you. Because sometimes it seems like the most
significant relationship in your life is with
that goddamn dog of yours.
Jack studies his brother's face.
JACK
I'm not seeing anyone. In particular.
FRANK
What about that waitress at the Ambassador?
JACK
Uh-uh. How about you? You seeing anyone?
FRANK
Funny.
(points at his wedding band)
Strike a bell?
JACK
It's only a ring. Not a collar.
FRANK
It's more than that.
Jack smiles and sips his coffee.
FRANK
(continuing)
By the way, we gotta go see Ma tomorrow.
JACK
No thanks.
FRANK
No, I mean it.
JACK
So do I.
FRANK
We gotta go, Jack.
JACK
No, you gotta go 'cause if you don't get up
there every couple weeks you feel guilty.
I won't feel guilty, so I don't gotta go.
FRANK
This time you gotta go.
JACK
I don't gotta go.
FRANK
You gotta go.
JACK
Says who?
FRANK
Your older brother.
JACK
You're thirteen months older than me, Frank.
That might've meant something in the Apache
clubhouse, but it don't cut too deep anymore.
FRANK
Christ, Jack, it's her birthday.
Jack glances up. Frank nods.
FRANK
(continuing)
So what do you say?
Think the city can spare you for an afternoon?
Jack squints out the window.
FRANK
(continuing)
Okay. And don't worry about a present.
I got her something from both of us.
EXT. STREET
Jack, cradling a pink bakery box in one hand,
gets out of Frank's car and surveys the street
on which he grew up.
FRANK
Make sure you lock.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Unless you count the elderly gentleman picking roses
three houses down, there would not appear to be a wealth
of potential car thieves in the immediate vicinity.
But it's not Jack's car, so he doesn't press the point.
BACK TO SCENE
FRANK
Place looks good, huh? I got a neighbor boy to
mow the lawn, pick up. Five bucks.
Times've changed, huh?
(pointing)
See the tree?
Remember the job Cecil did on it the day
Dad planted it?
You can still see the scars on the trunk. Really.
I was looking at it just the other day.
Jesus, I thought he was gonna kill that cat.
Frank smiles, recalling Cecil's near-demise,
then raps on the front door.
Jack studies the tree a moment,
then gestures to the tiny ribboned box in Frank's hand.
JACK
So what'd we get her?
FRANK
You'll see.
ANGLE - FRONT DOOR
At that moment, the door swings open and ELLIE BAKER
is there, a vibrant woman in her sixties.
MRS. BAKER
Well, if it isn't the fabulous Baker Boys!
FRANK
How's the birthday girl?
MRS. BAKER
A little stiffer, but just as sturdy.
Mrs. Baker hugs Frank, then, a bit awkwardly,
embraces Jack.
MRS. BAKER
(continuing)
John. It's good to see you.
JACK
(uncomfortable; balancing cake box)
Good to see you, Ma.
Jack looks over his mother's shoulder at Frank and
mimics "John" with a knowing nod.
FRANK
Uh, Ma, you know, no one calls him that anymore.
Jack. He goes by Jack.
MRS. BAKER
I thought maybe held gotten over that.
FRANK
Twenty years, Ma ...
MRS. BAKER
Yes, yes. It's just that John is so much nicer.
Jack sounds so ... crude. When I was a little girl,
we had a pig on the farm named Jack.
I guess I just can't help making the association.
Jack's eyes slide over to Frank as if to suggest he
holds his brother personally responsible for this.
FRANK
Uh ... yeah, well, you know, Ma,
John Kennedy went by Jack.
MRS. BAKER
Catholics. What do you expect?
Oh, well, what's in a name, right?
Let's go inside and have a look at that cake.
As Mrs. Baker exits, Frank leans over to Jack.
FRANK
Keep her busy, will ya?
I have to set a few things up.
Frank disappears, leaving Jack alone on the porch
with the bakery box. Jack shakes his head,
wondering how he's going to make it through the afternoon,
then enters the house.
INT. HOUSE
The front room is cluttered with his childhood.
Most noticeable are the pianos: two tiny uprights,
perfectly matched, their simulated ivory keys yellowed
with age. Above them, pressed between glass and framed,
are the music ribbons, faded by twenty years of sunlight.
Finally, there is the sheet music, dusty and dog-eared,
piled everywhere in drunken stacks.
This and all else in the room Jack confronts slowly,
warily, but with a noticeable dispassion,
until his eyes fall upon a photograph.
In it, he and Frank are standing alonside a tall man
in baggy slacks, safe within the arc of his long arms.
Frank is staring straight into the camera, neat, clean,
perfectly posed, but Jack, a year younger,
his shirt too big, is caught in profile,
looking up at the tall man with an almost worshipful gaze.
MRS. BAKER
(entering)
Well, now, where's everyone run off to?
Frank?
JACK
Downstairs.
MRS. BAKER
Oh.
All at once, Jack and his mother realize they are alone.
MRS. BAKER
Well, shall we cut that cake?
Jack nods and follows her into the kitchen.
He places the box on the table and stands off to the
side while Mrs. Baker sets about preparing things.
MRS. BAKER
So. How are you?
JACK
Fine. You?
MRS. BAKER
Oh, fine.
Silence.
Jack watches his mother poise the knife over the cake.
Her fingers are trembling.
MRS. BAKER
(continuing)
Big piece or little?
JACK
Huh? Oh, no.
MRS. BAKER
None?
JACK
I'm not much for sweets.
Mrs. Baker nods.
MRS. BAKER
How's that dog of yours? What was his name?
JACK
Eddie.
MRS. BAKER
Yes. Right. Eddie. How is he?
JACK
He's losing his teeth.
Mrs. Baker stops and looks up into Jack's eyes.
Suddenly, a NOISE is heard in the other room.
MRS. BAKER
Sounds like your brothers back with us.
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
Frank comes stumbling up the basement stairs with an
old movie projector and a roll-up screen.
MRS. BAKER
(entering)
What's all this?
Frank sets the projector down and hands his mother the
tiny ribboned box.
FRANK
Go on.
Jack watches from the kitchen doorway as Mrs. Baker
pulls the ribbon off the box.
Inside is a tiny spool of film.
MRS. BAKER
Why, what's this?
INT. KITCHEN (LATER)
Blank screen, curtains drawn, the room dark.
Frank clicks on the projector and picks up his cake.
Mrs. Baker close on his elbow,
sets her plate on her knees and watches the screen.
Jack sits off to the side.
A title card appears:
"For Mrs. Ellie Baker, who made it all possible."
Mrs. Baker gives Frank a puzzled look.
He just smiles.
Suddenly, images spring to the screen,
obviously footage several years old,
showing Jack and Frank as children,
sitting at the tiny pianos, wearing matching suits,
smiling matching smiles as they play for the camera.
MRS. BAKER
Oh my God ...
FRANK
Recognize these two characters?
MRS. BAKER
I thought these were lost.
Where did you find ...
FRANK
In the attic. Behind some of Dad's stuff.
(pointing with his fork)
Look, Jack can hardly reach the pedals.
As Frank's laughter fills the dark room,
Jack stares with cold fascination at the screen.
Suddenly, a jagged cut springs the boys a year later,
in the same positions, smiling the same smiles.
MRS. BAKER
(laughing)
Oh no!
FRANK
I had a boy down at the camera shop cut them
all together. Boy, old man Henderson didn't
fool around when he gave a haircut, did he, Jack?
Jack says nothing.
MRS. BAKER
Oh, look at you two. So skinny.
And those tiny suits ...
FRANK
Wait. Watch. Here comes Dad.
Jack's eyes narrow as the film jumps another year
and a man enters the frame, obviously by accident.
He is so tall his face cannot be seen.
As he dances quickly out of sight,
he ruffles Jack's hair.
MRS. BAKER
That man.
As the film jumps again,
Jack glances at the photograph to his right.
The images on the screen flicker softly off
the glass of the picture frame.
MRS. BAKER (O.S.)
(continuing)
Oh, look how you're growing.
My little boys ...
Jack's eyes drift from the photograph to his mother
and brother, sitting close together in the love seat,
laughing. After a moment, their voices fade and Jack
looks back to the children on the screen,
like two tiny men, mirror images of one another.
At first the changes are subtle.
Little Jack's tie is askew, his shirt missing a button.
But as the years flick by, the brothers resemble one
another less and less, until finally,
the little boy that was Jack is completely gone and in
his place is a slouching, tousle-haired adolescent in
rumpled coat and open collar,
a cigarette hanging disdainfully from his lip.
A woman's hand darts into the frame and plucks the
offending cigarette away in a flash.
INT. CAR
Frank and Jack are parked in front of Jack's building.
Whispers of steam snake from the
mancovers in the street.
JACK
I made her nervous.
FRANK
What do you mean?
JACK
Her hands. Like that.
Jack holds out a trembling hand.
FRANK
Nah. Medication.
Jack looks over at Frank. He nods.
FRANK
(continuing)
Couple years, now.
(taps his heart)
Keeps the beat steady. Nothing serious.
Jack considers this a moment, then gets out of the car.
FRANK
She was glad to see you.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
Jack lets himself into his apartment and stops.
Across the room, curled up on the couch, is a little girl.
Jack takes the girl gently in his arms and carries her to
the bedroom. As he folds a blanket under her chin,
he pauses. The girl's face is calm, peaceful.
EXT. STREET - DAWN
The next morning. Early.
The sun is peeking sleepily between the buildings and
beginning to drip out onto the street. Suddenly,
RINGING OUT over the rooftops, is "JINGLE BELLS"
-- not the entire song, just the first two bars,
over and over.
IHT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY
Jack, on the couch, his arm draped over a slumbering
Eddie, opens his eyes. Across the room,
seated at the piano, is NINA, the little girl.
She stops playing and turns.
NINA
Morning. You want coffee? I made coffee.
Jack looks into the sleepy face of Eddie and sits up.
He nods to the coffee. Nina goes to the kitchen.
NINA
(continuing)
I did the dishes last night. You're missing a cup.
Jack rubs his head, then gets up and walks to the window.
NINA
(continuing)
Did you break a cup, Jack?
JACK
Eddie did.
Nina looks at Eddie, sleeping on the couch,
then brings Jack his coffee with both hands.
NINA
I practiced the piano last night. Two hours.
I think I'm ready for 'Jingle all the way.'
Jack nods. Suddenly, the sound of HEAVY FOOTSTEPS is heard.
Jack and Nina glance up at the ceiling.
NINA
(continuing)
Guess they're up.
JACK
Sounds big. What's he do?
NINA
Process server.
Ma said it's like a lawyer only the hours
are more regular. All I know's he came to take
the TV one afternoon and ended up staying for
dinner. And breakfast.
JACK
What happened to the donut king?
NINA
Married.
Upstairs, a DOOR SLAMS and HEAVY FEET ECHO in the
stairwell. Nina peers out the window.
NINA
No breakfast. Maybe they had a fight.
TWO DEEP THUMPS sound on the ceiling.
NINA
(continuing)
Well, gotta go. Teach me later?
Jack nods.
Nina kisses him on the cheek and exits.
Jack walks over to the couch and gives Eddie a nudge.
JACK
Hey.
INT. LUAU LOUNGE
Though the plastic palms and grass-skirted waitresses
of the Luau Lounge make the Fabulous Baker Boys' presence
seem a bit incongruous, Jack and Frank hold nothing back,
giving "McCarthur Park" the full treatment.
Unfortunately, the audience in the Luau Lounge wouldn't
fill a Hawaiian haystack and their applause
is less than volcanic.
FRANK
Uh, thank you. That concludes our show for this
evening. Jack and I only hope you enjoyed
yourselves as much as we did.
As the guests wander out, clutching their roomkeys,
a freckle-faced BELLHOP comes up.
BELLHOP
Mr. Baker.
FRANK
(tired)
Yeah, Jimmy.
JIMMY (BELLHOP)
Mr. Simpson asked to see you.
FRANK
All right, tell him I'll be right there.
As Jimmy exits, Frank stands and points at Jack.
FRANK
(continuing)
Tomorrow we close with the 'Aquarius Suite.'
INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR
Frank pauses before a door marked "HOTEL MANAGER."
It's half-open. Inside, CHARLIE SIMPSON,
a heavy man in a shiny suit,
is throwing darts in the general direction of a
dartboard. He's not very good. Frank knocks.
CHARLIE
Frankie.
FRANK
You wanted to see me, Charlie?
ANOTHER ANGLE
CHARLIE
Yeah, come on in.
FRANK
Little slow tonight.
CHARLIE
(waving it off)
Mondays.
Charlie takes an envelope from his desk and hands it
to Frank.
FRANK
What's this?
CHARLIE
Your pay.
FRANK
Now? Why not tomorrow? After the show.
CHARLIE
Take it now.
FRANK
(confused)
What about tomorrow?
CHARLIE
We don't need you, Frankie.
For a moment, Frank just stands there.
FRANK
I've got the grands for two nights,
Charlie. You can't just --
CHARLIE
It's all there. Both nights.
Frank looks at the envelope in his hands.
FRANK
What're you saying, Charlie?
CHARLIE
Look, Frankie. You and Jack been
playing here, a long time.
FRANK
Twelve years.
CHARLIE
Right, twelve years. Couple times
a month.
FRANK
So?
CHARLIE
So maybe it's time we took a vacation from
each other.
FRANK
Vacation? Christ, Charlie, it's a Monday night.
You said so yourself.
CHARLIE
It wasn't half full out there tonight, Frankie.
I got six waiters standing in back listening
to baseball. I gotta move the liquor.
To move the liquor, I gotta fill the tables.
It's a matter of economics. Me, I love you.
I love both you guys, you know that.
You're class. But people today.
They don't know class if it walks up and
grabs 'em by the balls.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY
Jack rises as Frank passes through the lobby with
the cardboard stand-up.
JACK
What's with Charlie?
FRANK
Nothing. Everything's great.
Terrific.
INT. FRANK'S HOUSE
With the stand-up under his arm,
Frank enters and closes the door quietly.
A light is glowing in the kitchen.
The rest of the house is dark, quiet. In the kitchen,
he checks the message pad by the phone. Nothing.
On the table, a plate of cold chicken is waiting for him.
Next to it is a stack of bills with a note attached:
"Frank. Please."
Frank sighs and leans the stand-up against the wall.
The photo of Jack is peeling off the cardboard.
Finding a stack of glossies in a drawer,
Frank removes the old Jack from the stand-up and
replaces it with a new one.
As he presses the photograph in place,
his eyes drift to the one of himself.
It was taken a long time ago.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
Jack places a record on the turntable and sits at the
piano by the window. As the needle hits the spinning
disc, a sharp, snappy BASS LINE REVERBERATES throughout
the apartment. Jack takes a drink, then joins in with
the record, playing along. His concentration is intense,
so much so that, a moment later, when the PHONE RINGS,
he seems not to hear it. Finally, he picks it up.
JACK
Yeah?
FRANK (V.0.)
It's me.
JACK
Frank?
FRANK (V.0.)
Yeah. Listen ... come out to the
house tomorrow, will ya?
JACK
I've had enough family for one
month, Frank.
FRANK (V.0.)
It's not family. It's business.
JACK
So talk to me tomorrow. After
the gig.
FRANK (V.0.)
We don't get a gig.
JACK
What're you talking about?
FRANK (V.0.)
Something came up. Don't worry,
Charlie stayed true. Both nights.
I'll give you your share tomorrow.
At the house.
Silence.
FRANK (V.0)
(continuing)
So you'll come out, right?
JACK
Yeah, okay.
Jack listens to the PHONE HISSING in the dark,
then the CONNECTION goes DEAD.
EXT. STREET
A taxi lets Jack off on a street of shabby tract houses.
In his rumpled city suit, Jack looks like a cheap
gangster amid the weedy lawns and overgrown junipers.
He walks up to the door of a small white house and
presses the doorbell.
When there is no response, he goes around to the back.
EXT. BACKYARD
The backyard is small, with a short chainlink fence
surrounding it. Two kids, a girl and a boy,
are splashing around in a build-it-yourself
above-ground pool.
When they see Jack, they stop splashing.
Only their heads are visible above the water.
JACK
Hey, kids. Dad home?
The two heads say nothing.
JACK
(continuing)
What d'ya say? Wanna run and get
him for me?
Still nothing. Jack frowns, takes out a cigarette,
and pats his pocket for a match.
JACK
(continuing)
Shit.
The kids' eyes widen at his profanity.
Jack, the unlit cigarette dangling from his lip,
ponders things for a moment,
then flicks the'cigarette away and steps over the fence.
At which point,
the tinier of the two heads in the pool begins to scream.
JACK
(continuing)
Hey, kid. Take it easy.
No use. The kid's a world-class screamer.
Frank, wearing baggy shorts and looking alarmed,
comes racing out of the house.
FRANK
Cindy! What is it?
Cindy points. At Jack.
FRANK
(continuing)
Jack.
JACK
Your doorbell doesn't work.
FRANK
Honey, it's only Uncle Jack. You
remember Uncle Jack.
DONNA, Frank's wife, appears.
DONNA
What's the matter? Jack?
Jack waves.
FRANK
(lifting Cindy out of the pool)
Nothing's the matter. Is it, sweetheart?
DONNA
I'll take her inside. You too,
little Frank. Out of the pool.
Donna shepherds the kids toward the house.
FRANK
Feet!
The kids wipe their dripping feet on the outside mat
and disappear into the house. Frank turns to Jack.
FRANK
(continuing)
It's probably the excitement of
seeing you again.
EXT. BACKYARD (LATER)
Donna comes out of the house with a tray of lemonade.
The men are sitting by the pool in a pair of webbed
aluminum chairs.
FRANK
Well, look at this.
DONNA
You bring trunks, Jack?
JACK
Trunks?
DONNA
Swimming trunks.
JACK
Oh. No. Strictly dryland.
DONNA
Too bad. You could use some sun.
Really.
JACK
Maybe next time.
DONNA
We have some lotion.
JACK
Just the same.
DONNA
Suit yourself.
Donna returns to the house.
Frank takes a sip of his lemonade and scans his
surroundings complacently.
FRANK
Nice, huh?
JACK
What?
FRANK
The trees. The flowers. Nice.
JACK
Terrific.
FRANK
(expansively)
Yeah ... we're gonna paint in the spring.
After the rains. Look good as new.
JACK
You ask me out here to sell me
your house, Frank?
Frank shakes the ice in his glass.
JACK
(continuing)
Charlie paid you off last night,
didn't he?
FRANK
I don't know what you mean.
JACK
The hell you don't.
FRANK
I told you. Something came up.
Some political dinner or something.
JACK
Bullshit. Fifteen years, Frank.
No one paid us off.
FRANK
It wasn't like that.
JACK
No?
FRANK
No.
JACK
What was it like?
FRANK
Hey pal, I got a mortgage, all right?
I got two kids. I got a wife.
Besides, he made the deal.
There's no shame in it.
JACK
That how you see it?
FRANK
Yeah, that's how I see it.
Jack shakes his head in disgust.
FRANK
(continuing)
And don't go shaking your head, little brother.
I'm not the one who walks in every night smelling
like he's got a day job in a piss factory.
(pause)
It killed him, you know.
Jack glances up. Dangerous territory.
JACK
A gust of wind killed him.
FRANK
Yeah, and what put him up there?
JACK
Hey, you weren't there. Right?
Jack's look ends this. Frank sighs.
FRANK
Look, can we forget last night?
We gotta talk.
JACK
Talk.
FRANK
I been thinking maybe we should
make some changes.
(pause)
I been thinking maybe we should
take on a singer.
Silence.
JACK
Sure, why not.
FRANK
It's just an idea. I want your opinion.
I mean, we go halfway on everything, right?
JACK
It's more like 40-60, wouldn't
you say?
FRANK
We agreed that if I took care of the business;
I'd be entitled to the extra.
Isn't that what we agreed?
JACK
That's what we agreed.
FRANK
If you're unhappy with the
arrangement --
JACK
I'm not unhappy.
FRANK
If you'd like to assume more of the financial
responsibilities, I'd be glad --
JACK
Frank. Fuck it. Okay?
FRANK
I've tried to do well by you, Jack.
By both of us.
JACK
I'm grateful, Frank. How much?
For the singer.
FRANK
I thought maybe twenty percent.
Look, with the additional bookings we'll
come out ahead. The big hotels,
they want a pretty girl with a big voice.
We have to stay competitive, Jack.
Jack laughs coldly.
FRANK
What's that?
JACK
You, Frank. All these years you been telling me
we're different. We got novelty, Jack.
No one can touch us.
FRANK
Two pianos isn't enough anymore,
Jack.
JACK
It never was.
YOUNG WOMAN
in pink sweater and a short black skirt stands in the
center of a tiny room in the back of Willie's piano
showroom, holding some sheet music. Sammy Davis Jr.'s
face is on the sheet music. Frank is sitting against
the opposite wall, a notepad in his hand.
Jack is at the piano.
FRANK
Good morning, Miss...?
YOUNG WOMAN
Moran. Monica Moran.
FRANK
All right, Miss Moran
MONICA (YOUNG WOMAN)
Actually, that's my stage name.
FRANK
I'm sorry?
MONICA
Moran. Monica. The whole thing.
It's my stage name. My real name's Blanche.
FRANK
Blanche.
MONICA
No romance, right? That's why I came up with
Monica. It's what I prefer.
FRANK
Well, that's fine --
MONICA
But if you call my house and my mother answers,
ask for Blanche. If you ask for Monica, she'll
think you have the wrong number and hang up.
FRANK
Right.
MONICA
And if she asks what it's about, don't tell her.
She's opposed to my career.
FRANK
Uh-huh. Well, Miss Moran, what
is it you'd like to do for us?
MONICA
Candy Man.'
(worried)
Is that all right?
FRANK
It's one of Jack's favorites.
Monica turns and, seeing Jack at the piano,
gives a little start.
MONICA
Oops. I almost forgot you were
there. Here's the music.
Monica begins to hand Jack the sheet music.
FRANK
Uh... he knows it.
MONICA
Really? Isn't that a coincidence.
JACK
Small world.
Monica smiles. She likes Jack.
FRANK
Well, shall we?
Probably not, but Jack begins to play anyway,
laconically picking out the cheery tune while Monica
swings her arms and taps her foot. Despite all this,
Monica still manages to come in between beats and Jack
has to scramble over a chord to catch her,
sort of like a fireman with a net.
MONICA
Who can take a sunrise
Sprinkle it with dew
Toss it in the air and
Make a groovy lemon pie
The Candy Man can
The Candy Man can...,
There would appear to be ample evidence as to why the
mother of Monica nee Blanche opposes her
daughter's career.
FRANK
Thank you, Miss Moran, that's enough.
Monicals eyes are closed now and she is fully caught up.
Frank looks over at Jack.
Jack shrugs and continues to play.
FRANK
(continuing)
Miss Moran ... Miss Moran ...
Blanche!
Monica's eyes pop open.
MONICA
Oh, sorry. I get so caught up in
it sometimes. It's scary.
FRANK
Yes, it is.
MONICA
Well ... thanks.
(to Jack)
Bye.
JACK
Drive carefully.
As Monica exits, Jack and Frank glance at one another
and thus begins a seemingly endless parade of aspiring
singers who can't sing. As Frank sinks lower in his
chair and Jack's ashtray spills over with wounded
cigarettes, singer after singer, in all shapes, sizes,
and colors, come forth to offer their own unique
interpretations of "Feelings," "I Gotta Be Me,"
"This Is My Song," and perhaps most appropriately,
"What Kind of Fool Am I."
Finally, when it is all over,
Jack and Frank are left alone in the tiny room,
looking dazed, exhausted, and mildly homicidal.
TALL YOUNG WOMAN
As the sequence ends, a TALL YOUNG WOMAN in high heels
walks into Willie's. She glances around,
then spots Willie across the room,
eating a corn beef on rye.
WOMAN
Hey. You one of the fabulous
Baker Boys?
JACK AND FRANK
are putting on their coats, preparing to leave.
Frank is staring at his notepad.
FRANK
Thirty-seven. Thirty-seven.
JACK
What?
FRANK
Thirty-seven girls.
And not one who can carry a tune.
That must be statistically impossible.
JACK
It was a somewhat extraordinary
day.
FRANK
I just don't understand. You
would think someone ... anyone ...
WOMAN (O.S.)
Damn!
The Woman in high heels stumbles into the doorway,
holding a shoe in her hand. It's broken.
WOMAN
(continuing)
Brand new Thursday. You believe
it?
After today, Jack and Frank are prepared
to believe anything.
WOMAN
(continuing)
This where the auditions are?
FRANK
This is where the auditions were.
WOMAN
What do you mean?
FRANK
We're finished.
WOMAN
What about me?
Frank looks at his watch.
FRANK
You're an hour and a half late.
WOMAN
My watch is broken, too.
FRANK
Punctuality. First rule of show
business.
The Woman looks around her.
WOMAN
This is show business?
FRANK
(in no mood)
Look, miss. We're tired,
you have gum on your lip, and we're going home.
WOMAN
(touching her lip)
Just like that, huh? You're not
even gonna give me a chance?
FRANK
Don't take it personally.
WOMAN
How should I take it?
FRANK
Impersonally.
Frank begins to leave.
WOMAN
I don't believe it. I come all the way down down
here, break a heel, and you're not gonna give me
a chance because I have gum on my lip and I'm a
few minutes late.
FRANK
You're an hour and a half late.
WOMAN
So if I'm so 'late how come you're still here?
FRANK
We ran long.
WOMAN
So run a little longer.
FRANK
Miss --
WOMAN
You find a girl?
Jack and Frank glance at each other.
JACK
No.
WOMAN
So. I'm here, you're here, the
piano's here. What d'ya say?
Before Frank can answer, Jack walks over to the piano.
FRANK
Terrific. Thirty-eight.
WOMAN
What's that mean? Thirty-eight.
JACK
Don't worry about it.
WOMAN
(to Frank)
You know, I'm feeling a lot of
hostility from you.
FRANK
(appealing)
Jack.
JACK
Let's get it over with.
FRANK
All right. What's your name?
WOMAN
Susie. Susie Diamond.
FRANK
Catchy. You have any previous entertainment
experience, Miss Diamond?
SUSIE (WOMAN)
Well ... for the last four years
I've been on call to Triple A
Escort service.
Jack and Frank exchange a glance.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Hey, it's legit. Strictly dinner
and dance.
FRANK
Okay. I think that's all we
need to know.
SUSIE
I sing now?
FRANK
That's the premise.
Susie gives Frank a dark look, then turns to Jack.
SUSIE
I Get Along Without You.' Slowly,
okay?
Jack nods and begins to play.
Frank slouches down in his chair,
preparing to be tortured again.
SUSIE
(continuing; singing)
I get along without you very well
Of course I do
Except when soft rains fall
And drip from leaves, then I recall
The thrill of being
Sheltered in your arms
Of course I do
But I get along without you very well.'
Susie stops. Frank just sits there.
Jack just sits there. She can sing.
SUSIE
(continuing)
So?
FRANK
(blinking)
Uh ... we'll let you know.
Jack looks over at Frank like he's insane.
SUSIE
When?
FRANK
When we know.
SUSIE
(smiling)
Don't leave a girl hanging.
Second rule of show business.
Frank's not amused.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Yeah, well, okay. 'Bye, Bakers.
Susie walks out barefoot.
JACK
What are you, crazy?
FRANK
I just thought we should talk
about it. Between ourselves.
JACK
What's there to talk about? She can sing.
That puts her at the head of the class.
That makes her the only one in the class.
FRANK
I don't know ... She had gum on her lip,
for Christ sake.
I don't think she's right for the act.
JACK
(studying him)
You're getting cold feet about
this.
FRANK
I was just thinking what Ma would
think.
JACK
Ma? Ma? Was Ma there the last time we played the
Ambassador? Oh, that's right, she was on bass.
How could I forget.
Frank frowns and looks down at his hands.
JACK
(continuing)
How many other silent partners are there, Frank?
Donna? Little Cindy?
Hell, let's give Eddie a vote.
FRANK
Okay, okay. I'll call the girl.
Frank gets up wearily, then glances down at the notepad.
JACK
What's the matter?
FRANK
I didn't get her number.
EXT. STREET
Jack and Frank dash out of Willie's and glance up
and down the street. Nothing.
FRANK
We can always look her up in the
book.
JACK.
Right. Susie Diamond. She's probably listed right
next to Monica Moran.
Jack shakes his head in disgust.
WOMAN (O.S.)
Does this mean I get the job?
ANOTHER ANGLE
Jack and Frank whirl around.
There, standing in the doorway, is Susie.
SUSIE
Intuition.
CITY SKYLINE
Gleaming beautifully at the start of a new day.
Once again, "JINGLE BELLS" is heard,
only this time carried a little further:
"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way..."
JACK, FRANK AND SUSIE
Ensconsed in the back room of Willie's, preparing
for their first rehearsal ...
FRANK
Ready?
Jack nods.
FRANK
(continuing)
Ready?
Susie nods. Frank poises his hands over the piano,
hesitates, then looks at Jack again.
FRANK
(continuing)
Ready?
Jack squints at Frank, then nods.
Frank turns to Susie.
FRANK
(continuing)
Ready?
SUSIE
(looking around)
What are we, an orchestra all of
a sudden?
Frank g1ares at her.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Sorry.
Frank poises his hands over the piano again and
begins to play the opening passage of
"Just the Way You Are." A moment later, Jack joins in,
and a moment after that, Susie. Unfortunately,
Jack and Frank, accustomed to playing alone,
are a tad overwhelming and the result sounds like a
fifth grade recital.
After a few bars, Susie holds up her hand.
SUSIE
Fellas, fellas ...
Jack and Frank stop.
FRANK
What's the problem?
SUSIE
The problem is I can't hear myself
sing with all this...
(searching)
... music. You know what I'm saying?
Jack and Frank look at one another.
SUSIE
(continuing)
I mean, back there it may be hard to notice,
but up here I'm having a little trouble
getting a word in.
Jack and Frank just stare.
SUSIE
(continuing)
I mean, you're supposed to be
backing me up, right?
FRANK
(icily)
No. We are not supposed to be
backing you up.
SUSIE
What I mean is --
FRANK
We're a team. We work together.
SUSIE
So work with me, not against me.
Okay?
Frank stares at Susie for a long moment.
FRANK
I suppose we can bring it down a
little.
JACK
I'll drop the eighths.
FRANK
Okay?
Susie looks at the two brothers.
SUSIE
Okay.
WILLIE'S SHOWROOM - LATER
Frank is on Willie's telephone.
In the front of the store, just out of earshot,
Jack sits at a beat-up grand,
while Susie moves aimlessly from one piano to another.
FRANK
I'm telling you, Ray. She's got
a voice like an angel ... What?
Frank glances furtively across the room to where Susie,
making a very sexy silhouette against the front window,
is running her hand over a pearl-white piano.
FRANK
(continuing)
No, I wouldn't say she's got a
body like an angel.
As Frank continues to talk in the background,
Susie looks over at Jack.
SUSIE
Hey, he's not sore, is he?
JACK
He'll come around.
Susie nods, goes back to stroking the piano.
JACK
(continuing)
You never sang before?
SUSIE
Not for money. With my mother.
Jack nods slowly, but Susie sees he doesn't understand.
SUSIE
(continuing)
She used to waitress downtown, nights,
when I was a kid. On the way home, we'd sing.
You know how people whistle when they're nervous?
My mother sang. She always said you're never alone
with a song 'cause thousands of people know the
same song and even though you can't hear 'em,
they're singing with you. I don't know.
If they were, they were all singing safe inside
their apartments.
(shrugging)
But it worked. We always got home. Ever since,
I always wanted to sing.
I never took lessons or anything, though.
I guess you guys took a lot of lessons.
Jack looks down at the piano in front of him.
JACK
Yeah. We took a lot of lessons.
JACK AND NINA
Jack's tuxedo is hanging in the shower as he gets
ready for the night's gig. Nina, standing next to him
at the sink, watches as he works up a lather on a bar
of shaving soap, then paints his face with the suds.
NINA
You shave like an old movie, Jack.
As Jack picks up a razor, Nina takes the brush and begins
to soap her face in the mirror.
JACK
In the old days, every man had a shaving mug that
he kept at the barber shop. Then, whenever he
wanted a shave, held go down to the barber shop
and there would be his mug, waiting for him.
NINA
Is that what you used to do?
JACK
My days are not the old days,
genius.
NINA
What are they?
JACK
The recent past.
NINA
Oh.
(nodding to the ceiling)
Bigfoot gets his out of a can.
JACK
How do you know?
NINA
I saw his stuff in the bathroom.
JACK
Oh?
NINA
I guess it's getting serious.
JACK
Maybe he'll ask your ma to marry
him.
NINA
I hope not. He's already busted the springs
in two chairs. Hey, what's this?
Nina holds up the handle of the shaving brush.
JACK
Ivory.
NINA
Looks old.
JACK
Older than me.
NINA
Wow.
Jack gives Nina a look, then begins to splash his face.
Nina picks up the razor.
JACK
Hey, what do you want to do? Grow
a beard?
NINA
Why not?
JACK
Well, let's get your first prom
under the belt, okay?
NINA
What's a prom?
JACK
Ever go to church?
Nina nods.
JACK
It's like that. Only you gotta
dance.
INT. HOTEL
As Jack enters the hotel, he passes by the cardboard
stand-up, prominently displayed in the lobby.
It is virtually unchanged, except for a small notation
at the bottom: "With Guest Vocalist."
On the other side of the lobby,
Frank is pacing nervously.
FRANK
Where the hell is she?
JACK
It's early.
FRANK
I told everyone seven-fifteen.
Didn't I? Seven-fifteen.
JACK
She'll get here.
FRANK
Just like the day of the auditions,
right? Jesus. How's my hair?
JACK
Awe inspiring.
FRANK
Yeah, well, Your's isn't.
(taking out a comb)
Let me run a comb though it.
JACK
Get out of here.
FRANK
Come on, stand still.
JACK
Get out of here!
FRANK
It's not gonna hurt you.
JACK
I'll hit you, Frank. I swear.
Frank hesitates, like a basketball player trying to
feint an opponent, then takes a flick at Jack's hair.
Jack hits him.
FRANK
(holding his shoulder)
You hit me.
JACK
I told you I was gonna hit you.
He looks capable of hitting him again, too.
FRANK
All right, all right. I'm a little
tense.
JACK
You're a fucking alarm clock.
FRANK
I just wish she'd get here, that's
all.
JACK
She's here.
Susie, wearing a flamboyant orange dress,
is standing across the lobby, staring at the stand-up.
FRANK
Christ, look at her. You'd think if she was gonna
wear her street clothes she'd have enough sense
to come in the back.
(walking over)
Good evening, Miss Diamond. You're late.
SUSIE
Where's my name?
FRANK
What-?
SUSIE
And how come you guys are the only ones with
your pictures on the poster?
FRANK
We'll talk about it later. Right
now, you gotta get changed.
SUSIE
Changed?
FRANK
Where's your dress?
SUSIE
(to Jack)
What's he talking about?
FRANK
Is there a language problem here? Your dress.
For tonight. Where is it?
SUSIE
Do I look like I'm naked?
FRANK
That! You can't wear that!
SUSIE
What's wrong with it?
FRANK
It's orange!
SUSIE
(to Jack)
Am I missing something?
Before Jack can reply, Frank grabs Susie's hand and
pulls her toward the door.
FRANK
Come on.
SUSIE
Hey!
FRANK
Come on. We don't have much time.
SUSIE
Time for what?
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE
Frank, Jack and Susie dash through a cavernous
downtown department store, the brothers turning a few
heads with their tuxedoes. As they reach the ladies'
department, Frank begins to flip through the
dress racks.
SUSIE
If you ask me, this is pretty
stupid.
FRANK
Just look. What do you wear?
A nine?
SUSIE
(offended)
A seven.
FRANK
My wife wears a seven. You don't
look like a seven to me.
SUSIE
I wear a seven.
FRANK
Okay, okay. Here, how about this?
SUSIE
(looking)
Save it for your wife.
FRANK
We're not exactly silly with time,
you know. Jack, you find anything?
Jack, somewhat out of his element, is looking at belts.
JACK
No.
FRANK
Here, how's this?
Frank holds out an inky black dress. Susie gives it
a long look.
FRANK
(continuing)
Close enough. Let's go.
Frank begins to drag Susie into the dressing room.
SUSIE
Hey, pal. I don't know about you, but where I
come from there's a little girl's room and a
little boy's room and the little boys don't go
where the little girls go.
FRANK
All right, but make it quick.
(remembering)
Shoes! What size do you wear?
SUSIE
(from the dressing room)
Nine.
FRANK
Nine?
SUSIE
Nine!
FRANK
(to himself)
Big feet.
INT. SHOE DEPARTMENT
Frank and Jack work the shoe department,
scouting the endless rows.
FRANK
See anything?
JACK
(holding one up)
How about these?
FRANK
Jack, for crying out loud. Your
bachelorhood's showing.
(seeing something)
Ah, here we go.
Frank grabs a pretty blue pump and gestures to the
SALESMAN, who's waiting on a woman.
FRANK
Hey! Do these come in black?
SALESMAN
I'll be with you in a minute, sir.
FRANK
I don't have a minute, pal. Yes
or no?
SALESMAN
(glowering)
Yes. They come in black.
FRANK
Okay. Give me a pair of nines.
Pronto.
The Salesman looks casually at Jack.
SALESMAN
Does he want a pair, too?
INT. DRESS DEPARTMENT
As Jack and Frank return to the dress department,
Frank jettisons the shoebox and tissue paper.
FRANK
All right, we got your shoes.
Just then, Susie steps out of the dressing room.
Even Frank stops at the sight of her.
SUSIE
What do you think?
FRANK
Uh... good.
SUSIE
(turning to Jack)
Zip me up?
The dress is open down to the small of her back.
It's a nice back.
Jack takes the zipper and closes the panels carefully.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Shoes?
FRANK
Right.
Frank puts the shoes down and Susie steps into them.
SUSIE
They're tight.
FRANK
They're nines.
SUSIE
Well, they're aspiring to be
sevens.
FRANK
You can buy new ones tomorrow.
SUSIE
Oh, thanks.
FRANK
Don't worry. We'll take it out
of your share.
SUSIE
You're a prince.
INT. HOTEL
As the trio rushes into the hotel service entrance,
RAY, the assistant manager, appears.
RAY
You better buy yourself a watch,
Frankie.
FRANK
We had a little emergency.
RAY
Yeah, well, I've got a little emergency.
You know what I'm saying?
(seeing Susie)
Who's this, Minnie Pearl?
All eyes turn to Susie's dress, which still has the
tags attached.
FRANK
(moving off)
Jesus.
RAY
I want seventy-five minutes, Frankie.
You hear me?
JACK
This is going well, isn't it?
INT. KITCHEN
The three rush into the kitchen.
FRANK
We need scissors over here!
Who's got scissors?
(turning to Susie)
Okay, remember. Jack and I go on first,
I do the set-up, then introduce you.
And you say ...
SUSIE
(deadpan)
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't tell you how thrilled I am to be here.
It's like a dream come true.
And speaking of dreams ...
FRANK
Right.
SUSIE
Piece of cake.
A tiny MAN in an apron walks up with a meat cleaver.
FRANK
Carlos, that's,a cleaver. I need
scissors.
CARLOS (MAN)
No scissors.
FRANK
Jesus Christ. All right. Let's
go, Jack. Fix your tie.
Jack and Frank exit.
Susie stares a little warily at Carlos and his cleaver.
INT. LOUNGE
Jack and Frank slide quickly behind their pianos.
About half the tables in the room are filled.
FRANK
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to the Ambassador Lounge.
My name's Frank Baker and no, you're not
seeing double, it's just my
little brother, Jack.
Some laughter.
FRANK
(continuing)
I'm glad you're all in such a good mood tonight,
because we've got a very special
evening planned ...
INT. KITCHEN
Susie sits on a stool while Carlos positions the dress tags
on a cutting board. As a WAITRESS from the bar passes by,
Susie snares a drink from her tray.
WAITRESS
Hey!
SUSIE
Just a sip. To kill the
butterflies, okay?
WAITRESS
Okay. But no lipstick.
Susie takes a quick sip.
SUSIE
There. No one's the wiser.
WAITRESS
Nice dress.
As the Waitress exits, Carlos brings the cleaver down
with a sharp chop, severing the tags.
SUSIE
Appreciate it, Ace.
LOUNGE
The audience is laughing.
FRANK
But seriously, folks, as I sit here tonight,
looking out on all your kind faces, I can't help
but feel some of us have met before. We may not
know each other's names, we might not recognize
one another on the street, but we know each other
just the same. And over the years we've shared
something. A little music, a little drink,
a little laughter, maybe even... a few tears.
But I guess that's what friends are for, huh?
Applause. Jack puts out his cigarette.
JACK
Oh, brother.
FRANK
And it's especially nice to be among friends
tonight, because, well, tonight's a very special
night for my brother and I. This evening we've
asked a young lady to join us, a lady Jack and I
are sure will soon seem like just another old
friend to you all. She's making her debut here
this evening and, as far as I'm concerned, she
couldn't be doing it in a better place.
Because there's one place that's always been for
us a very special place, and that place is this
place, the Ambassador Lounge. Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome a very special lady with a very
special way of singing a song, Miss Susie Diamond.
Applause. Susie strides out of the kitchen, past the
busing station, and up to the microphone stand, which,
unfortunately, is not on.
FRANK
(continuing; whispering)
The switch. Hit the switch.
SUSIE
Switch?
(as she hits it)
What fucking switch?
Silence.
SUSIE
(continuing; very demure)
Pardon me.
Jack and Frank look at one another, then, before
outrage can set in, plunge into the opening number.
Susie takes the mike from the stand and smiles sweetly.
SUSIE
(continuing)
I can't tell you how thrilled I
am to be here.
For the moment, the audience doesn't seem quite sure
how thrilled they are to be here.
SUSIE
(continuing)
I'm all smiles, darling
Through and through...'
INT. LOBBY
A BELLBOY exits the elevator and, hearing Susie's voice
coming from the lounge, stops.
He looks to the CLERK behind the front desk.
BELLBOY
I thought the Bakers were on
tonight.
CLERK
They are.
BELLBOY
Well, who's that?
The Clerk looks up from the register and listens.
CLERK
I don't know. Frank?
INT. LOUNGE
Judging from the faces, Susie's as big a hit in the
lounge as she is in the lobby. Head thrown back, eyes
closed, she sings with abandon, finishing on a long
extended note, then swooping down in a dramatic,
exhausted bow. There is a split second of silence,
then thunderous applause. Magic.
EXT. HOTEL
The new trio, fresh off their first gig,
come out of the service entrance into the night.
FRANK
Fucking. She says fucking in
front of an entire room of people.
SUSIE
I said I was sorry.
FRANK
(to Jack)
Did you hear it?
JACK
Fucking.
SUSIE
Look, they were all on their third Mai Tais
by the time I got out there anyway.
FRANK
(directly to her)
Fucking.
SUSIE
For Christ sake, I said it, I
didn't do it.
(pulling out some bills)
Besides, I don't think they were
too offended, do you?
FRANK
(grabbing the bills)
Give me that.
SUSIE
Hey!
FRANK
We are not a saloon act. We do
not take tips from dirty old men.
SUSIE
(innocent)
I was gonna split it with you guys.
FRANK
We do not take tips. I'll apply
this to the cost of the dress.
Frank puts the money in his pocket. Susie stares at
him, steaming.
SUSIE
Then I want my name on the poster.
And my picture!
(taking off her shoes)
And these shoes are too goddamn tight!
Susie hurls the shoes at Frank and stalks off barefoot.
Jack is leaning against the wall,
watching it all with amusement.
JACK
Nice girl.
ON Frank's expression we hear the OPENING NOTES of
"New York, New York" and we see:
SERIES OF SHOTS
Susie and the boys performing it in one lounge after
another, playing to increasingly enthusiastic audiences,
no empty tables now.
As the SONG ends, we CLOSE ON the cardboard stand-up,
newly done over with a picture of Susie and an
accompanying exclamation: "See the Sensational Susie
Diamond!" As the FINAL CHORD sounds we --
CUT TO:
INT. LLOYD'S OFFICE
Jack and Frank, once again in the office of the
supercilious Lloyd, waiting as he prepares their
cash envelope.
LLOYD
Yes, sir. That's quite a girl you boys latched
onto. She a local?
FRANK
Born and bred.
LLOYD
Lucky for you. Well, there you go, guys.
Don't spend it all in one place.
Oh ... you want to count it, Jack?
FRANK
We trust you, Lloyd. You know
that.
Frank takes the envelope and begins to leave.
LLOYD
Say, Frankie. Since I've got you here...
How's next week look for you guys?
Frank glances at Jack, giving it to him.
Jack's eyes go cold.
JACK
We'll call you.
As Lloyd's face drops, Jack and Frank step into the
hallway and begin to walk slowly away, playing it cool,
then glance at one another and begin to walk faster
because they're about to burst out laughing.
FOLLOWING SHOT
By the time they reach the lobby, they are laughing,
tripping across the carpet, out the front entrance and
onto the sidewalk, where their voices explode in the
night air and they begin to do a weird boyish waltz
together, laughing giddily, until they see - standing
under an awning, lighting a cigarette - Susie, watching
them with raised eyebrows. Jack and Frank, frozen in a
clumsy embrace, quickly disengage and begin clearing
their throats and squaring their cuffs. Susie exhales
a plume of smoke, studies them a moment,
then smiles slightly.
SUSIE
Night, Bakers.
As she turns away, Jack glances up, watching her
trim shadow disappear down the street.
EXT. CITY
Gray and cold. The streets swept with rain.
And once again the tentative piano:
"JINGLE BELLS, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride ...
Oh what fun it is to ride ... Oh what fun..."
INT. VETERINARY CLINIC
Jack and Eddie are sitting in the waiting room:
small and dirty and packed with pet owners and
their animals.
After a moment, a WOMAN with a clipboard appears.
WOMAN
Barker.
(no takers)
Jock Barker?
JACK
(realizing it's him)
Baker. Jack Baker.
WOMAN
Right. Bring him back.
JACK
Come on, Ed.
Jack and Eddie follow the Woman down a corridor.
WOMAN
You should've brought a leash, Mr. Barker.
The doctor doesn't like to be bitten.
JACK
He doesn't bite.
WOMAN
They never do, Mr. Barker.
JACK
Baker.
WOMAN
Right. In there.
The Woman points Jack and Eddie into a small room.
There is an examining table, a sink, and on the wall,
a chart detailing the various breeds of dogs and cats.
Jack glances around the room, then comes back to Eddie,
who's staring up at him.
JACK
You shoulda brushed, pal.
Just then, a MAN in a white coat breezes in.
DR. BEASLEY (MAN)
Ah, labradorus retreiverus. Good fellows.
Quiet, but able to appreciate a good joke.
Dr. Beasley pats Eddie on the side, then turns to Jack.
DR. BEASLEY
Beasley.
JACK
Baker.
DR. BEASLEY
What's our friend's problem?
JACK
Teeth.
DR. BEASLEY
What's wrong with them?
JACK
They're falling out.
DR. BEASLEY
Uh-oh. That's not good. Let's
get him up here.
Jack lifts Eddie up onto the table and Dr. Beasley opens
Eddie's mouth for a look. It doesn't take long.
DR. BEASLEY
They gotta go.
JACK
(a take)
How many?
DR. BEASLEY
Five's my guess. Maybe more.
Won't know till I get in there.
(consulting his clipboard)
Leave him now and you can pick
him up in the morning.
JACK
Isn't there something you can
give him? A pill or something?
DR. BEASLEY
Decay unfortunately doesn't limit itself to
the denture, Mr. Baker. It spreads into his chest.
Then the heart goes. We wouldn't want that,
would we?
JACK
How will he eat?
DR. BEASLEY
Start him out on cottage cheese.
If you've got him on kibble, just soak it a
few minutes. Go down like pudding
through a hot pipe.
JACK
No bones?
DR. BEASLEY
No bones.
Jack looks at Eddie.
JACK
What do you do to him?
DR. BEASLEY
Don't worry, Mr. Baker. We'll knock him out.
He won't feel a thing.
JACK
I think maybe I'll bring him back
next week ...
DR. BEASLEY
The sooner we do this the better,
Mr. Baker.
EXT. STREET
Jack steps out onto the rainy street alone.
He glances back at the vet's with second thought,
then moves slowly off.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
Jack enters with a small grocery bag and opens the
refrigerator. A carton of cream, a few eggs --
there's not much there. He takes a small container of
cottage cheese from the grocery bag and places it on an
empty shelf. As he closes the refrigerator door, he
glances around the apartment. It is very still, very
quiet. He looks up at the ceiling absently, then walks
over to the window and looks out. There is a mug of
coffee there on the sill. He takes it and holds it in
both hands for a moment, then places it back on the sill.
He sits at the piano and runs his fingers lightly over
the ivory, not making a sound, then places his hands on
the keys and begins to play. "Jingle Bells."
INT. CORNER DINER
In the front window, room has been made among the
photographs for one of Susie. Inside, Jack, Frank
and Susie sit at a table, surrounded by empty coffee
cups and cigarettes. Frank has several slips of paper
before him with names and dates.
FRANK
The twenty-third ... Yeah, here it is. We got the
Carlton or the Plaza. Four day turns.
What do you think, Jack?
Jack is staring out the window.
FRANK
(continuing)
Jack, you with us?
SUSIE
The Carlton's a dump. No cover. No minimum.
And they water their drinks.
It's strictly for the Fuller brush crowd.
Susie, as she says this, is pouring sugar into her Coke.
FRANK
(watching)
I guess it's,the Plaza then.
That brings us to the twenty-seventh.
We got the Avedon for three or the Park
downtown for two.
SUSIE
We take the Avedon, right? Simple.
Frank rubs his chin and looks at Jack. Jack shakes
his head.
SUSIE
(continuing)
The Park? It's only two nights.
Why throw away a night?
JACK
Because Blackie Carson books the Park and
whenever we've needed a gig he's come through.
SUSIE
Oh.
(lifting her glass)
Well, for Blackie then.
FRANK
By the way, I got a messsage
yesterday from some guy looking for
New Year's action. Resort, upstate.
SUSIE
(likes "resort')
Hey.
JACK
Sounds like a booking agent
looking to book an easy fee.
FRANK
That's what I figure. Probably have us in
a bed-and-breakfast playing to the owls.
SUSIE
Maybe it's legit.
FRANK
Maybe. I'll call him.
JACK
Make it collect.
FRANK
(shuffling his slips)
That's it except for the first.
We got the Sheraton, the Ambassador, or the
Holiday Inn on Sixtieth. All three-day turns.
Frank looks at Jack.
JACK
Draw.
Susie shrugs.
SUSIE
How'd you guys used to decide what
gig to take?
Jack and Frank exchange a glance.
FRANK
Uh, well ... we flipped a coin.
SUSIE
So find a dime. Let's get out
of here.
EXT. DINER
Jack and Frank step out-of the diner and turn their
collars up against the chill.
Frank pulls on a pair of gloves.
FRANK
Jesus, it's gonna be mean this year.
Where're your gloves?
Jack shrugs.
FRANK
(continuing)
Better take care of your fingers, little brother.
Buy yourself a case of arthritis and you won't
be able to play 'Chopsticks.'
JACK
I'll take my chances.
Frank pats his hands together and glances into the street.
FRANK
Something, huh? All those bids.
JACK
Yeah. Something.
FRANK
Yeah ... Well, I gotta go.
JACK
You wanna get a drink?
Frank stops, surprised.
FRANK
No, I... Little Frank's got strep. Donna's been
up two nights making sure the rest of us
don't get it.
Jack nods.
FRANK
(continuing)
You all right?
JACK
Yeah, fine.
FRANK
Okay I'll see you tomorrow night then.
JACK
Right.
As Frank leaves, he takes a glance at his brother,
then disappears around the corner. A second later,
Susie comes out of the diner.
SUSIE
Where's egghead?
JACK
His kid's sick.
SUSIE
(searching her purse)
I don't know. It's hard figuring you two
as brothers. Seems like the hospital might've
scrambled the babies somewhere.
JACK
He takes after our mother.
SUSIE
Yeah,well, a11 I know is mother nature must be
one crazy dame. Shit.
Jack offers his pack of cigarettes.
SUSIE
Uh-uh. I never touch American
cigarettes.
(still searching)
What's tomorrow again?
JACK
The Stratford.
SUSIE
Nice place. Fulla velvet. Even
the bedspreads.
(shaking the purse)
Damn! Two-fifty a pack and I go
through 'em like toothpicks.
Twelve-and-a-half cents a piece,
you believe that?
JACK
Huh?
SUSIE
Paris Opals. Twelve-and-a-half cents. I sat
down with a pencil and added it one day. But
I figure, if you're gonna be sticking something
in your mouth, you might as well make it the best.
(finding one)
Ah, here's a lost soul.
Jack lights it. She takes a draw.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Mmm. Like kissing a rose. Well,
au revoir.
JACK
Hey.
(as she stops)
You feel like a cup of coffee?
SUSIE
You kidding? We must've killed three pots in
there. Anyway, I gotta get home. Rest the pipes.
JACK
You want me to walk you?
Susie looks at Jack a little funny.
SUSIE
No. Thanks.
She starts to move away, then stops and looks back.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Hey, listen. You're not going soft on me, are
you? I mean, you're not gonna start dreaming about me
and waking up all sweaty and looking at me like
I'm some kinda princess when I burp.
JACK
Forget it.
SUSIE
I mean, that'd be too creepy.
With us working together and all.
JACK
Forget it.
SUSIE
Nothing personal --
Jack holds up his hand. Susie just stands there.
JACK
Better hurry. You're a nickel
down on your cigarette.
EXT. VETERINARY CLINIC
Jack paces outside the veterinary clinic, rubbing his
arms against the night's chill. He glances up at the
flickering sign over the building: "Twenty-Four Hour
Emergency Care." Inside, a KID with deep-set eyes is
bent over a magazine. Jack hesitates then enters.
INT. VETERINARY CLINIC
KID
Yeah?
Jack glances around, ill at ease.
KID
(continuing)
You want something, pal? If you're looking for a
bathroom, try the Super Chief around the corner.
The Kid goes back to his magazine.
JACK
No, I, uh, left a dog here this morning.
He needed some work on his mouth.
KID
Regular hours are eight to five.
JACK
Yeah, yeah, I know. I was just passing by.
Thought I'd check in on him.
KID
You can check in on him tomorrow.
Between eight and five.
JACK
Yeah, well, couldn't I take a
look now?
The Kid looks up at Jack with mild contempt.
KID
You want to know if he's okay.
Right?
JACK
(uncomfortable)
Yeah.
KID
All right. Hold on.
JACK
The name's Baker --
KID
Save it. What's he look like?
JACK
(puzzled)
Black. Labrador.
KID
All right. they lay the dead ones out in the
cold room. I'll take a look.
The Kid disappears into the back. Jack stands frozen,
watching the swinging door come to rest. He looks
like a man who, unexpectedly, finds a razor pressed
to his neck. He fumbles for a cigarette, but doesn't
light it. He waits. A moment later, the door swings
open.
KID
Nope. Just a couple poodles.
Jack nods, then, moving stiffly, leaves.
EXT. VETERINARY CLINIC
Outside, he reaches into his coat and takes the bottle.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
On the floor, a long line of bowls, each containing
a different concoction, all intended for the ailing Eddie.
Eddie, lying a few feet away, shows no interest.
In the kitchen, Jack is heating something up in a pan.
NINA
I tried Cheerios this morning.
He didn't even get up.
Maybe they took out the wrong teeth.
JACK
He's just feeling sorry for himself. This is it,
pal. Hear me? Two bucks a can.
Jack dumps some brown slop into a bowl and places it next
to the others. Nina and he wait. At first, nothing, then
... Eddie's eyes move. His nose twitches.
His head lifts. Finally, he gets up and walks to the
bowl. He eats.
JACK
(continuing)
Chili.
CITY
draped in winter. Dark skies, people lost in heavy
coats, the city's battered Christmas decorations hung
tenuously across traffic-clogged streets. Over it all
we hear "JINGLE BELLS," PLAYED for the first time
completely through, hesitantly but without error.
As the SONG ENDS, we are:
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
watching Nina strike the final chord triumphantly.
She turns to Jack, who's been listening from the couch.
JACK
(nodding to the ceiling)
You're gonna knock her dead, kid.
INT. LUAU LOUNGE
All done up in reds and greens for Christams Eve.
Jack, Frank and Susie -- each decked out in their own
little Santa hats -- perform "Silver Bells" for the
happy crowd. Jack, smoking a cigarette, will not be
mistaken for Santa Claus, but Susie looks adorable.
Frank just looks happy. As they finish,
the crowd applauds.
INT. BATHROOM
Jack, now sans Santa hat, enters the bathroom off the
lobby and finds Santa Claus standing in front of the
mirror, fussing with his beard.
JACK
Hey, Frank.
FRANK
You recognized me.
JACK
Just a lucky guess.
FRANK
So what do you think?
JACK
Very realistic.
FRANK
(not buying it)
Yeah, well, what can I say? Dad must've had
forty pounds on me.
Jesus, you remember him being this big?
Jack looks in the mirror.
JACK
Yeah.
FRANK
Well, the line's growing weaker, little brother.
Lucky for us there aren't any dragons left to slay.
INT. LOBBY
Jack and Frank step out into the lobby, thus giving
a few people, Susie among them, the curious privilege
of seeing Santa Claus exit a men's room.
FRANK
You want to come out to the house tomorrow?
The way the bookings been piling up, Donna's decided
to really lay it on. Turkey, stuffing, the
whole bit. Kitchen's so full of food you can
hardly move. We could use another appetite.
JACK
Thanks, but I've got plans.
FRANK
All right, but if you change your mind,
let me know. I gotta go get Ma in the
morning anyway.
SUSIE
(coming up)
Well, well. Ho, ho, ho. You
moonlighting at Macy's, Frank?
FRANK
For the kids.
(moving off)
Merry Christmas, you two. Don't
forget. We leave the twenty-sixth.
Frank pushes through the revolving door and steps
out into the street in his Santa suit.
SUSIE
He do that every year?
JACK
Every year.
SUSIE
Aren't the kids asleep?
JACK
Every year.
SUSIE
So why's he do it?
JACK
I guess in case one year they're not.
Jack looks into Susie's eyes, then crosses to the
door and exits. Susie watches him go, then turns to
the desk clerk.
SUSIE
Call me a cab, will ya?
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
As Jack enters his apartment, he senses a presence in
the room and looks over to the old phone booth.
Nina is sitting inside on the little stool, her head
tilted against the glass. Jack studies her a moment,
then takes the carton of eggnog he's carrying into the
kitchen and grabs a pair of glasses. He pulls a chair
over to the phone booth and sits down.
NINA
How'd the show go?
JACK
Okay. How'd yours go?
NINA
Not so good.
Jack looks at Nina's face, tender and young in the
soft shadows of the booth. After a moment, her eyes
shift to the carton in his hand.
NINA
Eggnog?
Jack nods.
NINA
(continuing)
From Hurley's?
JACK
Eighty proof. What d'ya say?
Think you can handle it?
Nina nods. Jack begins to fill the two glasses.
NINA
Jack.
JACK
Yeah?
NINA
Can I stay here tonight? Even if
she comes here?
Jack pauses a moment, then closes the carton and sets
it aside.
JACK
Sure.
He hands Nina her glass, then takes his own.
NINA
Merry Christmas, Jack.
JACK
Merry Christmas.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - NEXT MORNING
Jack and Nina are standing in the middle of the room,
looking down at something.
NINA
What do you think?
Eddie, outfitted in a brand new, spanking red dog
sweater, stares up at Jack and Nina, wondering why
he's the object of so much attention.
JACK
Very cool.
EXT. CEMETERY - JACK, NINA AND EDDIE
(sporting his new sweater)
make their way across an empty cemetery.
Nina is swinging a bottle of whiskey.
NINA
(looking around)
There were more flowers last year. Mr. Rinaldi
down at the drugstore says it's going to snow
by New Year's. Says he can feel it in his elbows.
I hope it snows. I want to make a snowman.
You ever make a snowman, Jack?
JACK
Sure.
NINA
That's what I want to do.
I want to make a snowman.
As they come to a plot of ground, they stop.
There are two matching headstones, one for Jack's father,
fully engraved, and another for Jack's mother, bearing
only her name. Jack studies the plot a moment, then
crouches before his father's marker: "ANDREW S. BAKER.
Adoring Husband of Eleanor, Loving Father of Franklin
and John." Jack brushes some dirt from the face of the
stone, then stands.
NINA
(continuing)
Now?
Jack nods. Nina uncaps the whiskey bottle and pours
it onto the dead man's grave.
NINA
(continuing)
Merry Christmas, Mr. Baker.
They stand another moment, just looking, then turn away.
As they begin to walk, Jack sees Eddie in his new
sweater sniffing at a gravestone.
JACK
Hey, Eddie. Have some respect,
will ya?
EXT. BUILDING
Jack is sitting on a suitcase in front of his building.
A moment later, Frank pulls the car up to the curb and
Jack gets in. Susie is sitting up front.
INT. CAR
Frank, burning with the afterglow of a holiday spent
with family, cheerfully maneuvers the car
through the city.
FRANK
So. How was everyone's Christmas?
Jack and Susie stare disconsolately out the window.
FRANK
(continuing)
Too early, huh? Well, there's coffee and donuts
for whoever wants them.
How about a maple bar, Jack?
Jack shakes his head and takes out a cigarette.
FRANK
(continuing)
Uh, Jack ... if you don't mind.
Jack stares at the back of Frank's head,
then puts the cigarette away. Susie takes a peek in
the donut bag and looks a little sick.
FRANK
(continuing)
By the way, if anyone gets bored,
Donna packed some travel games.
They work wonders with the kids.
Frank reaches under the seat and hands Susie a sack
full of magnetic games, puzzles, and plastic cubes.
FRANK
(continuing)
You two could play checkers.
SUSIE
Maybe we should just listen to the radio.
FRANK
Sorry. It only plays static.
Susie looks at the radio,
then at the games in her hands.
SUSIE
How long did you say it takes to
get to this place?
INT. CAR - FEW HOURS LATER
Jack is staring out the window at the winter landscape,
an unlit cigarette dangling from his lip.
Susie is gnawing on a donut, deeply obsessed with an
elaborate plastic puzzle.
FRANK
Any more coffee?
Susie snaps out of her trance and shakes the Thermos.
SUSIE
Uh-uh. Hey, what's this?
Susie notices an old, leather-bound ledger. Inside,
there are hundreds of tiny entries.
SUSIE
(continuing)
You play all these places?
FRANK
Baker's unabridged.
SUSIE
Jesus, you fellas've made a lot of
noise. What's with the stars?
FRANK
Virgins.
SUSIE
Virgins?
FRANK
First times. Hey, look at this.
A crepe-covered car surrounded by several other
HONKING VEHICLES passes by. Jack stares at the beaming
newlyweds as they glide past his window,
two kids starting life in a beat-up Eldorado
covered with toilet paper.
FRANK
(continuing)
When's the last time we played a
wedding, Jack?
JACK
Two years ago. March.
SUSIE
(consulting the ledger)
He's right.
FRANK
He's always right. Go ahead. Pick a virgin.
Susie looks at Frank curiously.
FRANK
(continuing)
Go ahead.
SUSIE
(scanning the book)
Okay.The Fantasy Inn.
FRANK
Jack?
JACK
(staring out the window)
November. '71.
FRANK
First night?
JACK
Day. Wednesday.
FRANK
Last?
JACK
Sunday.
SUSIE
I don't believe it.
FRANK
I told you, he's got the gift. Same with music.
Hears it once and he's got it.
Frank smiles into the rear view mirror.
FRANK
(continuing)
My brilliant little brother.
EXT. HOTEL
The hotel, done in a sort of King Arthur motif,is
built right on the ocean. Frank guides the car down
a simulated cobblestone drive and the three get out.
FRANK
Will you listen to that ocean?
It's LOUD. Frank takes a deep breath.
FRANK
(continuing)
And how about this air? I'm telling you,
a few days in this place'll put five years
on your life.
SUSIE
Smells like fish.
FRANK
Of course it smells like fish.
We're on the ocean.
What'd you expect, Chanel number five?
SUSIE
(to herself)
Smells like tuna number two to me.
FRANK
It's paradise. That's what it is.
Paradise.
As Susie and Jack follow Frank up the drive, Jack
notices the beat-up Eldorado in the parking lot,
its toilet paper streamers blowing
gently in the ocean breeze.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY
The lobby is done in royal reds and blues and there
are a lot of swords on the walls.
Franks steps up to the front desk.
FRANK
Hi, we're the Fabulous Baker Boys.
CLERK
Glad to meet you. I'm Terrific
Tom.
FRANK
No. We're the entertainment.
TOM (CLERK)
Oh, right, gotcha. You got bags?
FRANK
Outside. Blue Chevy.
TOM
(ringing a bell)
Cyril. Chevy. Blue. Take 'em up
to the Guinevere Suite.
A lanky boy in velvet jodhpurs and high stockings ambles
out for the bags. Tom hands Frank the room keys.
TOM
(continuing)
Right on the ocean, Mr. Baker.
You can practically dangle your toes
in the water.
INT. SUITE
Tom wasn't kidding. The immediacy of the ocean beyond
the window is almost scary.
FRANK
You believe this? I'm telling you, we're getting
away with murder. Two shows a night and the rest
of the time we live like kings. It's a crime.
Jack stares at the ocean, then at the two beds placed
side by side. Suddenly Susie comes through the bathroom.
SUSIE
Hey, we're connected.
FRANK
Great.
SUSIE
Great?
FRANK
Yeah.
Susie shrugs and returns to her room through the
bathroom.
JACK
I thought we had separate rooms.
FRANK
(opening drawers)
We do. She's got hers, we've got ours. Hey.
Wash and Dries.
JACK
I thought we all had separate rooms.
FRANK
Come on, Jack. It's not like it's the first
time we've bunked together. It'll be like when
we were kids. Relax. Enjoy the view.
INT. DINING ROOM
Jack, Frank and Susie are in the dining room, which,
like their rooms, looks out over the ocean.
Dinner is over and they're well
through a second bottle of wine.
SUSIE
You're kidding me.
FRANK
As Charlie Steinway is my witness.
SUSIE
Peggy Lee?
FRANK
Tell her.
JACK
She was staying at the Grand
downtown ...
FRANK
It was April. April seventeenth.
That one I remember.
JACK
We were playing the lounge one
night and she came in.
FRANK
Pearls. White gown. Beautiful.
JACK
Frank asked if she'd sit in for a song, she said
yes, and we did a few bars.
FRANK
A few bars!
SUSIE
What'd she sing?
FRANK
People.' You think Streisand, right?
Hot that night. Chills.
Through the whole audience. I could hardly play.
SUSIE
Wow. You ever see her again?
FRANK
No. We got a picture, though.
One of the waitresses had a camera.
(to Jack)
God, we were just kids. That was
something, wasn't it?
Jack nods. Frank shakes his head, still lost in the
spring evening years before, then notices the newlyweds
sitting across the room.
FRANK
(continuing)
Hey, will you look at that?
SUSIE
They must've bought the same
map we did.
FRANK
What do you say we send a bottle
over?
SUSIE
I don't believe it. You're a
romantic, Frank.
JACK
He's drunk.
FRANK
Not true. Besides, Jack's the romantic.
SUSIE
Oh yeah?
FRANK
He's just afraid to show it.
Aren't you, little brother?
JACK
Have some more wine, Frank.
FRANK
Good idea.
(lifting his glass)
To Peggy Lee.
INT. BATHROOM
Frank, standing, dressed in pajamas.
Jack is staring out the window at the darkness.
FRANK
I'm putting my stuff on the right,
okay?
JACK
Okay.
FRANK
I figure that way we won't get confused.
JACK
Right.
FRANK
Unless you want the right.
JACK
No, you take the right.
FRANK
We might as well do the towels the same way.
JACK
Okay.
FRANK
I just figure things'll go smoother, you know,
if we have it all worked out from the beginning.
JACK
Good idea.
FRANK
But if it doesn't work out, let
me know. I'm,flexible.
JACK
Right.
Frank nods and moves to the bed.
JACK
(continuing; re: the bathroom light)
You leaving that on?
FRANK
Yeah.
JACK
All night?
FRANK
Yeah.
JACK
We're gonna be here a week?
FRANK
(puzzled)
Yeah.
JACK
So you're gonna leave it on.
Every night. For a week.
FRANK
Yeah. You mind?
JACK
Why would I mind?
FRANK
I don't know. I mean, I always did it as a kid.
I figured it was no big deal. Is it? A big deal?
Jack just stares at Frank.
FRANK
(continuing)
Oh. I didn't know. I mean, I always did it as a kid.
It was never a big deal then. Was it?
Jack just stares at Frank.
FRANK
(continuing)
Oh. Well. You want me to turn
it off?
Jack just stares at Frank.
FRANK
(continuing)
I'll turn it off.
Jack turns back to the window.
JACK
Forget it. It's no big deal.
INT. DINING ROOM - DAY
The next morning. Jack and Frank are standing
in a huge dining room, appraising two elegant grands.
FRANK
They're beauties, huh?
Jack steps up to one and runs his hand over the keys.
FRANK
(continuing)
Reminds me of those Steinways Willie used to have.
Frank taps a few notes on his piano, humming happily.
Jack begins to echo his brother's notes, listening.
After a moment, Frank notices.
FRANK
(continuing)
What?
INT. DINING ROOM
A short, stubby LITTLE MAN in a charcoal suit strides
into the dining room, followed by Terrific Tom.
MR. DANIELS (LITTLE MAN)
Good morning, gentlemen. I'm Mr. Daniels,
the manager. I believe I've spoken to one of you
on the phone.
FRANK
(offering his hand)
That'd be me, sir. Frank Baker.
This is my brother Jack.
Jack, slouched against the piano, smoking, nods.
MR. DANIELS
Tom here tells me there's a problem with the
pianos. We were assured they were in tune.
FRANK
Yes, well, they are.
MR. DANIELS
Then I'm afraid I don't understand.
FRANK
They are in tune. But not with
each other.
MR. DANIELS
Is that important?
FRANK
Uh, well ...
JACK
Yes. It's important.
Frank glances nervously at Jack.
MR. DANIELS
Tom, who're we dealing with on
these?
TOM
A Mr. Reynolds, sir. But he's gone on vacation.
I called this morning.
MR. DANIELS
Well, gentlemen, I don't know what to say.
Not being a musician myself I find it difficult
to grasp the magnitude of this. I don't suppose
there's any way you could just ... accommodate.
JACK
Accommodate? I don't think I know
what you mean.
FRANK
I think what Mr. Daniels is trying to say,
Jack, is --
JACK
Why don't we let Mr. Daniels tell
us what he's trying to say.
MR. DANIELS
I assure you, Mr. Baker, no offense is intended.
I simply mean, well, we're not a symphony, are we?
INT. HALLWAY
Frank dogs Jack down a hallway.
FRANK
Jack ... Jack ... You're acting like
a kid.
JACK
No, that's your problem, Frank. You get around
one of these assholes and you turn into a
fucking three-year-old.
FRANK
What's the matter with you? So the piano's a
little out of tune. So what?
JACK
(stopping)
Christ, can't you hear it?
FRANK
No! I never hear it!
(shaking his head)
Maybe. Sometimes. I don't know.
But I won't let it bother me.
JACK
Doesn't it matter to you?
FRANK
What matters to me is we've got the six easiest
nights we've had in ten years.
So 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon' sounds a little flat.
So what? Nobody's gonna hear it, Jack. Nobody.
So why should you care?
JACK
Because I can hear it.
FRANK
Well, then stuff cotton in your ears, because
come six o'clock we're gonna walk into that
dining room with smiles on.
Understand, little brother?
INT. HOTEL ROOM
Frank is adjusting his tie in the bathroom mirror.
Jack, sitting at the window, his foot up against the
glass, drinks from a flask as the sky above the ocean
goes dark. After a moment, Susie enters wearing a
little tuxedo of her own and begins to brush her hair.
SUSIE
Hey, fellas. What's the word?
Nothing.
SUSIE
(continuing)
What's with you two?
FRANK
Jack woke up on the wrong side
of the bottle.
Susie looks at Jack. Then Frank.
SUSIE
0-kay.
INT. LOUNGE
As Jack, Frank and Susie perform "Strangers in the Night,"
dozens of couples move slowly on the dance floor,
while others sit at candle-lit tables, sipping cocktails.
As the song ends, the couples applaud.
FRANK
Thank you, thank you.
(as applause dies)
You know, Susie and Jack and I only just arrived
here yesterday, but already the people here at the
King Corporation's Moorish Manor have made us feel,
well, a part of the family. And it's their hope that,
before you leave, everyone of you will feel a part
of that family also. So, if during-the next few days,
we should happen to pass one another in the hallway
or in the lobby or wherever ... don't be a stranger.
Stop. Say hello. Introduce yourself. Because here,
there are no strangers, only friends.
And family. Right, Jack?
JACK
Right. I love you, Frank.
FRANK
(stunned)
What?
JACK
I love you. I just wanted to say it.
Frank stares incredulously at Jack.
FRANK
Uh, well, I love you, too, Jack.
(moving quickly along)
So. Susie. How 'bout it.
SUSIE
Huh?
FRANK
Got another song for us?
SUSIE
Oh. Yeah. I gotta bunch of them.
FRANK
Well then ... shall we?
BACKSTAGE
Frank corners Jack as they exit the stage.
Susie looks around nervously to see if anyone's watching.
FRANK
(whispering)
What's the matter with you?
JACK
I'm sorry, Frank. All that talk about family.
I just got emotional.
FRANK
How dare you say you love me.
JACK
It won't happen again. Scout's
honor.
SUSIE
What's with you guys?
FRANK
Someone needs to grow up. I won't
take it, Jack.
JACK
Sure you will.
Jack pushes past Frank and leaves.
Frank watches him go, then turns to leave himself.
INT. BATHROOM
Middle of the night. Jack, fully clothed,
is sitting on the rim of the tub, smoking.
Susie enters.
SUSIE
Oh, sorry. With the light always
on, it's hard to tell.
JACK
It's okay.
(the cigarette)
Last one.
SUSIE
Can't sleep?
JACK
In and out.
SUSIE
It's the waves. God's music, my mother used to say.
She was crazy for the ocean.
JACK
Yeah, well, I wish God would go
a little easy on the trumpets.
SUSIE
How's egghead?
JACK
Like a baby. You?
SUSIE
In and out.
Jack nods. Susie looks at him carefully.
SUSIE
(continuing)
If you want, I got a pack in the
room.
JACK
No thanks. I never touch French
cigarettes.
INT. LOBBY - DAY
The next morning. As Jack passes through the lobby,
he hears the plaintive PLINKING of a PIANO. Curious,
he goes to the dining room and peers in.
The tables have yet to be set for the evening and,
except for Frank, the room is empty.
JACK
What the hell are you doing?
FRANK
(not looking up)
What's it look like I'm doing?
I'm tuning a goddamn piano.
JACK
Really.
FRANK
Yes, really. I don't want you to be unhappy,
Jack. If you say it's out of tune,
it's out of tune.
Jack smiles to himself and crosses the room.
JACK
How's it coming?
FRANK
Fine.
JACK
How long you been at it?
FRANK
(shrugging)
Half-hour. Once I finish this octave I'm gonna
get breakfast. You see what's on the buffet?
JACK
They stopped serving two hours ago.
FRANK
Two hours ago!
JACK
Time flies, huh?
Frank looks despairingly at the pianos.
JACK
(continuing)
I could give you a hand. If
you want.
INT. DINING ROOM - DAY
Jack and Frank are eating lunch. Frank has a tiny
stack of blue cards he's perusing.
He holds one out to Jack.
FRANK
What do you make that? Paruchi?
Jack nods. Frank continues to go through the cards
as he speaks.
FRANK
(continuing)
You haven't seen Susie, have you?
JACK
No. Why?
FRANK
Just wonder what she's up to.
I never see her. Makes me nervous.
JACK
She's a big girl.
FRANK
Yeah, well, she's our girl now. I think we better
keep an eye on her. There's trouble there.
(another card)
Hey, listen to this. Ethel and Bert Lane.
Married seventy-five years. You believe that?
JACK
What the hell are these?
FRANK
Dedications. I came up with the idea on the road.
See, every morning the maids drop one of these
cards in each room. The guest fills out the card,
leaves it at the front desk, and that night we play
it. Daniels went crazy for the idea.
(whispering)
And that's not all. Last night, after the nine
o'clock, he corners me, right, and starts asking
about our availability. Like he wants to line
something up.
I think he's got a hard-on for Susie.
WOMAN
Excuse me.
Frank jumps. A WOMAN in a bright flowered gift shop
dress pokes her head in.
WOMAN
I'm sorry to interrupt, but when I saw you sitting
here, I just had to come over. Florence Simmons.
FRANK
Uh ... Frank Baker. This is my
brother.
FLORENCE SIMMONS (WOMAN)
Oh, I know, I know. My husband and I saw you
play last night and it's the most remarkable thing.
FRANK
Oh. Well, thank you.
FLORENCE SIMMONS
No, I mean you.
(to Jack)
I have a brother-in-law who looks exactly like you.
Exactly. You don't happen to have a Huckleberry
in your family tree, do you?
JACK
Afraid not.
FLORENCE SIMMONS
Well, it's frightening. You could be his twin.
Of course, he doesn't have your talent. Musically,
I mean. He sharpens things for a living. Lawn
mower blades, kitchen knives, anything with an edge.
Can imagine?
Jack is having a hard time imagining Florence Simmons.
FLORENCE SIMMONS
(continuing)
Well, anyway, I just had to make sure there was
no relation. You play wonderfully. Both of you.
Florence Simmons gives a little flutter of
a wave and exits.
FRANK
Funny, huh?
JACK
What?
FRANK
Thinking there's someone who looks like you,
walking around the street somewhere.
(smiling)
Wonder if I saw him I'd think it
was you?
EXT. HOTEL - DAY
Jack is standing on the walkway that encircles the
hotel, watching the waves tumble into one another.
As he starts to take out a cigarette, he notices
Florence Simmons standing a few yards away
with a camera.
FLORENCE SIMMONS
I just know my sister won't believe
me. Do you mind?
Jack shakes his head and Florence starts to aim the
camera.
FLORENCE SIMMONS
I really hate to impose. It's just that the
resemblance is so extraordinary.
(focusing)
I wonder if you could turn this way so your face
isn't in the shadows.
As Jack turns, he glances over Florence's swaying
shoulder and sees Susie and a man standing at the other
end of the walkway. They are leaning into the wind,
her hair blowing free, brushing the man's face.
FLORENCE SIMMONS
Say cheese.
The camera clicks.
FLORENCE SIMMONS
(continuing)
Gotcha. Would you like a copy for
yourself? The hotel develops.
Jack glances away from Susie and the man.
JACK
No.
ON Jack's expression APPLAUSE is heard and a moment
later we --
CUT TO:
INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT
That evening. The trio has just finished a song and
those on the dance floor are clapping.
FRANK
Thank you. You know, before we came out here
this evening, Susie and Jack and I were looking
over your dedications and something struck us.
Susie and Jack look at Frank as if they have no idea
what he's talking about.
FRANK
(continuing)
We realized that, well, we're really not so
different from one another after all. Oh sure,
we may be at different points in our journey,
but we all travel pretty much the same road.
And so, with that in mind, we'd like to introduce
you to two very special couples. First, married
for all of two days, please say hello to Helen
and Bud Wilson. Helen. Bud.
Those standing on the dance floor applaud as the young
couple from the beat-up Eldorado make their way to the
front of the room.
FRANK
(continuing)
And now, our second couple. I'm talking about
Ethel and Bert Lane, ladies and gentlemen. Now,
Ethel and Bert would be upset with me if I told
you they'd been married for fifty years. Why?
Because, ladies and gentlemen, Ethel and Bert Lane
have been married for seventy-five years!
The audience lets go with an audible "ooh"
and applauds enthusiastically.
FRANK
(continuing)
Ethel, Bert. Get up here and
show these kids how it's done.
A path is cleared and a tiny couple begins to make
their way to the dance floor.
FRANK
(continuing)
Aren't they a sight?
They are indeed, and a sight slower getting to the
dance floor than Frank anticipated.
He nods to Jack and they launch into "The Anniversary
Waltz," but have to keep repeating the opening passage
while they wait for Ethel and Bert. Finally, everyone
on the dance floor steps back and, with some help from
a few waiters, who slide a section of tables out of the
way, Ethel and Bert Lane begin to dance in the center
of the room, slowly but wonderfully, while the younger
couple whirls around them like a youthful satellite.
INT. BATHROOM
Jack is sitting in the bathroom again, smoking. He
hears Susie's door open, then VOICES -- hers and a
man's. He puts out his cigarette in the
sink and leaves.
INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - DAY
The next morning. Frank, the early bird, is
returning to the room with a newspaper under his arm.
Whistling happily, he rounds the corner just in time to
see a man exit Susie's room. Astonished, then outraged,
he goes to Susie's door and knocks sharply.
SUSIE
(opening door)
Forget your tie, handsome ...
Frank!
FRANK
You want to tell me what the
hell's going on?
SUSIE
Huh?
FRANK
I just saw a man walk out of
your room.
SUSIE
Uh ...
FRANK
In case you've forgotten, we're being paid to be
here. So it might be nice if you conducted
yourself with a certain amount of decency.
SUSIE
Decency? Hey listen, pal ...
FRANK
No. You listen. I had my doubts
about you from the beginning
JACK
Hey!
Frank and Susie turn. Jack is standing in the hallway.
JACK
(continuing)
What're you trying to do? Wake
up the whole goddamn hotel?
FRANK
We were just having a little
discussion about morality.
SUSIE
Some discussion.
FRANK
I just saw a man walk out of your
room!
JACK
You saw wrong.
FRANK
Huh?
JACK
He's with the hotel. I called him.
FRANK
What are you talking about?
JACK
We had a leak in the bathroom.
He fixed it.
FRANK
He was wearing a suit.
JACK
He had to come quickly. It was
a big leak.
FRANK
How come I didn't hear anything?
JACK
You're a heavy sleeper, Frank.
You've always-been a heavy sleeper.
(looking at Susie)
Unlike me.
Frank looks at Jack, then Susie.
FRANK
I guess I ... If I jumped to...
SUSIE
Forget it.
The three stand there awkwardly for a moment.
FRANK
Well...
Frank shrugs lamely and exits.
SUSIE
Boy, he comes on like a hurricane
in the morning, doesn't he?
Jack just stares at her.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Yeah, well, thanks for sticking
your head in.
JACK
Hey, business is business.
He turns to leave. Susie's eyes narrow.
SUSIE
It wasn't business. It was pleasure.
JACK
Just dinner and dance, right?
INT. DINING ROOM
Jack, Frank and Susie are sitting at a table in the
smaller dining room. It is conspicuously quiet.
The main course seems to be a conscious attempt to
ignore each other. Finally, Susie looks at Frank.
Then Jack. Then out the window.
SUSIE
Paradise.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Jack and Frank's room. It is New Year's Eve,
just before show time, and Jack and Frank are in
their tuxes. Frank is on the phone.
FRANK
(into phone)
Yes, Daddy promises. I'll bring you one of the
little glasses, how's that? Just like Grandma has.
It has a picture of the hotel on it and everything
... No, honey, they don't sell puppies here ...
Who? ... Well, we'll see. Let me talk to Mommy,
okay?... Okay,sweetheart. Happy New Year.
(waits)
Hi, honey. She says Angela Secoli got a puppy for
Christmas. Explain to her why we can't ... I don't
know, tell her you're allergic ... It's not lying.
Well, okay, it is lying, but ... All right, then tell
her I'll explain it ... He what? ... No kidding?
Without the training wheels?
(affected by this)
Well, that's great. Tell him, tell him. I can't wait
to see ... No, no new bike. Maybe for his birthday ...
Okay. Listen, honey, I have to go.We're on in ten
minutes ... Yeah, Happy New Year ... I love you ...
Frank sets the phone down and stares at it.
Jack studies him a moment, then Frank suddenly
claps his hands.
FRANK
(continuing)
Well, let's go. The public waits.
INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT
A mass of swarming, jubilant people. The voices are
high and loud and there's not a hand without a
champagne glass. Couples lean into one another
intimately, dancing gaily between the tables, toasting
strangers without hesitation.
FRANK
(yelling to be heard)
All right, everyone. This is it.
Let's hear it. Ten. Nine ...
Gradually, the entire room joins the chant.
FRANK/EVERYONE
Eight. Seven. Six. Five.
Four. Three. Two! ONE!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There is a blizzard of confetti as people scramble to
find that certain someone to kiss in the new year.
In this moment, Jack, Frank and Susie find themselves
oddly removed from the frantic cheer below them,
their presence suddenly unnecessary, forgotten.
Finally, Susie walks over to Frank and gives him a kiss,
then goes to Jack. They hesitate, then kiss lightly,
pulling away and glancing awkwardly into each other's
eyes. Frank sounds the first chord of "Auld Lang Syne"
and Susie looks away from Jack and returns to her place
on the stage. As she begins to sing, the others in the
room, all intimate friends for one brief moment,
begin to sing with her.
SUSIE/EVERYONE
Lest old acquaintances be forgot ...
As the voices slowly fade, they are joined by the
sound of the OCEAN until the ocean is all we hear
and we see:
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Jack, lying on his bed in the dark. He opens his eyes,
squinting against the light from the bathroom, then
glances over to Frank's bed and detects the outline
of a body in the darkness. Swinging his legs over the
side, he sits up on the edge of the bed and rubs his eyes.
Suddenly there is a rustle of blankets and the shadow in
the next bed shifts, falling into the shaft of light cast
from the bathroom. It is a little boy. Startled, Jack
stares at the sleeping boy, then hears movement in the
bathroom. Rising slowly, he walks to the bathroom and
gently eases the door open a few inches. Inside, swimming
murkily in the steamy mirror, is the reflection of a man.
His back is to Jack, but Jack can see that the man is
shaving. As Jack lets his gaze drop to the floor, he sees
that water is dripping off the man's pant cuffs and
gathering in pools on the bathroom floor ... Jack wakes
up. He stares at the ceiling, listening to the waves,
then lifts his head and looks to the bathroom. It is
dark. Turning, he glances at Frank's bed. It's empty.
INT. DINING ROOM
Dark and soundless. Balloons, streamers and the other
debris of revelry cover the tables and floor like snow.
Frank is sitting at the window, drinking as he stares at
the ocean. As Jack crosses the room, he looks up.
FRANK
Ah, well, if it isn't the lad with the golden ear.
Happy New Year, little brother.
JACK
What're you doing down here?
FRANK
Celebrating. Join me?
JACK
The party's over.
FRANK
No, you're wrong. It's just beginning.
Come on, have a drink.
Show your big brother how it's done.
Frank pours him a glass. Jack notices the bottle.
JACK
Expensive hangover.
FRANK
A gift. Courtesy of our courteous
hotel manager, Mr. Daniels.
(toasting Jack)
We, dear brother, are a fucking
smash.
(nodding)
Yup. They want us back. Easter. It seems they
have this egg hunt every year. Only not for kids.
Adults. They stuff these plastic eggs with
Timexes and little certificates for free Mai Tais
and everyone has a grand time crawling around on
the front lawn. Then afterwards, they have a
dance. An egg dance. Everyone comes dressed in
a different colored shell and at the end of the
evening they crack themselves open. It's our job
to separate the yolks from the whites.
Slippery business.
Frank smiles as he takes a swallow of his drink, then
leans his head back, staring at the ceiling.
FRANK
(continuing)
You know, I've never kissed my wife on New Year's.
Not once in twelve years.
Jack studies Frank as he stares at the ceiling.
FRANK
The Holmby has a chandelier like that doesn't it?
With the blue glass.
Jack looks up at the chandelier.
JACK
The Royal.
FRANK
Right. The Royal. When's the
last time we were there?
JACK
Couple years.
FRANK
February?
JACK
April.
FRANK
Right. It's incredible how you
do that. Remember things.
JACK
A useless talent.
FRANK
Drove me crazy when we were kids.
The way you never looked at the music.
Miss Simpson would just play it and ...
Frank snaps his fingers.
JACK
They were simple songs.
FRANK
Not for me. I still have to look at the music
sometimes, you know that? Otherwise, I forget.
I just forget. But you. You never forget.
Ever.
(turning)
So how come you couldn't remember Ma's birthday?
JACK
I told you. It's a useless talent.
Frank studies Jack a moment, then stares out at the
ocean.
FRANK
God, the old man would've loved
this view, wouldn't he?
JACK
Yeah.
FRANK
I always think of him on New Year's.
How he used to pour us each half a can of beer.
Remember?
JACK
You always threw up.
FRANK
Yeah, and you drank yours like it was orange juice.
He loved that about you.
JACK
He was just having fun.
FRANK
It was like you'd passed some test,
you know?
JACK
It was just a can of beer, Frank.
FRANK
Yeah, but he told you things. He never told me
anything. Even though I was the oldest.
It was always you two, running off, doing things
together.
JACK
You could've come.
FRANK
I could've. But he didn't want
me to.
JACK
You're making things up, Frank.
FRANK
Maybe so.
(pause)
You ever go back there? Where it
happened.
Jack stares at the angry SEA, LOUD even through the
thick glass.
JACK
No.
EXT. HOTEL - DAY
The next morning. Jack is sitting outside the hotel,
watching HELEN and BUD WILSON pack up the Eldorado.
The streamers, by now turned to mush, cling like oatmeal
to the car's exterior. After a moment, Frank exits with
a little bag from the gift shop and pulls out a
tiny souvenir shot glass.
FRANK
Want one?
Jack shakes his head.
FRANK
(continuing)
Ah well, the kids'll break a
couple anyway.
Suddenly, across the parking lot, the voices of the
newlyweds are heard.
BUD
Give me the keys.
HELEN
You're not going to drive.
BUD
Give me the keys!
HELEN
You're not going to drive!
BUD
It's my goddamn car!
HELEN
It's our goddamn car!
BUD
Give me the keys.
HELEN
No.
Bud hesitates, then makes a rush for his wife, but
she's too quick and runs to the other side of the car.
Frustrated, he begins to run around the car like a
madman, trying to catch her. Finally, when he gets
close, she darts off, sprinting across the parking lot.
FRANK
I think I'll warm up the car.
OVERVIEW - CITY
Cold, dark, dangerous, but somehow looking quite
appealing after a week in paradise.
INT. CAR - NIGHT
The trio, looking road-weary, is parked in front
of Jack's building. It is very late.
FRANK
That takes care of this week. The tenth we
got the Sheraton, the sixteenth we're
at the Capri.
JACK
The tenth's out.
FRANK
What?
JACK
I can't make the tenth.
FRANK
What do you mean?
JACK
I mean maybe you should check with us before you
go off and book us a month in advance.
FRANK
Be reasonable, Jack.
JACK
I play two hundred nights a year with you, Frank.
How much more reasonable you expect me to be?
Jack gets out of the car. Frank shakes his head in
exasperation, then looks to Susie.
FRANK
How about you? Got a Bar Mitzvah
this weekend?
SUSIE
(distracted)
Huh?
FRANK
Forget it.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
Jack lets himself in and closes the door quietly.
In the darkness he can make out Nina and Eddie,
curled up on the couch, asleep. Above them,
hung carefully on a string, are some paper letters:
"WELCOME HOME."
INT. LOUNGE
In a lounge whols basic decor makes abundant use of
several historical eras but which might best be described
as Modern Pilgrim, Jack, Susie and Frank perform
"Feelings," while waiters in huge Paul Revere hats pass
in and out of view.
SUSIE
Feelings ... Wo wo wo ... Feelings
... Wo wo wo ... Feelings ...
KITCHEN
Jack, Frank and Susie exit the lounge to applause.
SUSIE
I can't sing it anymore.
FRANK
What?
SUSIE
That song. I can't sing it anymore.
I'm gonna get sick.
FRANK
What're you talking about? They
love it.
SUSIE
I'm gonna throw up, Frank. I mean it.
Let's drop it for the ten o'clock, okay?
FRANK
(as to a child)
Susie. It's one more show. One
more time. That's all.
SUSIE
And two more times tomorrow night, and two more
times the next night, and the next night and the
next night and the next night. Frank, I can't
sing that fucking song anymore!
She's yelling. The kitchen workers are glancing over.
Jack studies her as she tries to calm herself.
SUSIE
(continuing)
I need some air.
EXT. HOTEL
A few minutes later. Jack comes out of the hotel and
sees Susie pacing.
He sits down and watches her for a moment.
JACK
You're gonna wear down those
heels if you don't give it a rest.
She stops.
JACK
(continuing)
Relax. We'll drop the song.
SUSIE
Guess I got a little scattered.
JACK
It's a shitty song.
Susie nods and looks up at the glittering hotel.
SUSIE
How do you do it? Every night?
JACK
Practice.
(pause)
There are worse songs, you know.
Not many, but a few.
Susie nods. Jack studies her. Something's on her
mind.
SUSIE
Listen...
(looks into his eyes)
Nothing.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DUSK
A record is spinning on Jack's phonograph as the sun
goes down outside his window. As we MOVE AWAY FROM
the phonograph and PAST the window, we FIND Jack at
the piano, playing along with the record,
lost in concentration.
EXT. BUILDING - CONTINUOUS ACTION
Susie is working on a Paris Opal, pacing, occasionally
glancing up at Jack's apartment, where the MUSIC can be
heard FAINTLY. After a moment, she drops her cigarette
on the sidewalk. There are half a dozen others
already there.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
The record finishes, but the needle doesn't pick up,
bumping into the label. Jack glances at the clock next
to him and gets up. He puts on a jacket, then takes a
pair of gloves and pulls them on carefully.
EXT. BUILDING
As Jack comes out of his building, Susie stops pacing,
surprised. Jack, wearing the same look of concentration
he had at the piano, doesn't see her and turns down the
other end of the street. Susie starts to call after
him, but stops.
EXT. JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT
The sun is gone now and the moon is in the sky.
We see the hot neon exterior of a tiny jazz club.
INT. CLUB - NIGHT
Jack is sitting in the shadows near the stage, where
a trio is playing. He has a drink in front of him,
but it is untouched. After a moment, the trio finishes
and the pianist, a huge black man named HENRY, nods to
the applause.
HENRY
Thank you. As most of you know, we like to shake
things up here every so often just to keep you
people on your toes. So I'm gonna take a little
rest, grab myself a drink, and let an old friend sit
in. He drops by about once a year just to keep
his hands clean. Ladies and gentlemen.
Jack Baker.
Jack rises to polite applause and shakes Henry's hand.
As he settles behind the piano, he sits for a moment,
not moving, then nods to the two men behind him. As they
begin to play, we recognize the music from the record.
Jack waits, then brings his hands to the keys. As he
plays, his face is suddenly calm. Peaceful.
EXT. CLUB - NIGHT
Later. Jack comes out of the club and into the night,
lighting a cigarette as he moves up the street.
SUSIE (O.S.)
You were good.
Jack stops. Susie.
JACK
I can keep the beat.
SUSIE
Better than that.
Jack's face goes a little cold, but he says nothing,
beginning to walk again.
SUSIE
What's the matter?
JACK
Nothing.
SUSIE
What'd I say?
JACK
Nothing.
SUSIE
You're upset.
JACK
I'm not upset.
SUSIE
All I said was you were good.
JACK
(stops)
Look. You don't know good. All right?
SUSIE
What's that supposed to mean?
JACK
It means you wouldn't know good
if it came up and fucked you.
SUSIE
You were good.
JACK
Let's make a deal. You shut up.
SUSIE
You were good.
JACK
(exasperated)
How do you know?
SUSIE
(yelling)
Because I saw the other people!
And they knew you were good!
You were good, goddamnit!
Jack studies Susie, then glances off. For a moment,
they just stand on the corner, not talking.
SUSIE
(continuing)
So you wanna get a drink?
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT
JACK
Nina?
SUSIE
Who's Nina?
JACK
Friend.
SUSIE
Friend? What's she look like?
Maybe I can help you find her.
JACK
She's four feet tall. Ed?
SUSIE
Ed? How many people live here?
Eddie walks around the couch and looks curiously at
Susie. Jack moves to the kitchen.
JACK
I have to make him some chili.
Okay?
SUSIE
(a look)
Sure.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - LATER
Light from a weak lamp, lots of shadows, as romantic
as Jack's apartment will ever get. Outside the window,
the city looks like a thousand jewels, gleaming.
Susie cradles a drink in her hand as she moves slowly
about the room, slipping, in and out of the shadows as
if they were veils.
SUSIE
(at window)
Like diamonds, huh? I never get over it.
When I was a little girl, my mama'd stand me before
the window and tell me to close my eyes and make a
wish.Like I could reach out and grab all the lights
of the city and string them into-a necklace for
myself. She'd take my hand and when she closed her
eyes, I don't know, it was like she really
believed it.
JACK
How come you didn't close your eyes?
She looks surprised by the question.
SUSIE
I don't know. I guess I didn't
trust the night like she did.
Susie finishes her drink and sets it down.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Let me have a cigarette, will you?
All of mine are down there on the sidewalk.
Jack looks at her curiously.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Long story.
Jack gives her an American cigarette and lights it.
SUSIE
(continuing)
You know, I saw you guys once.
You and Frank. At the Roosevelt.
JACK
Must've been a cheap date.
SUSIE
Soap convention.
JACK
Soap?
SUSIE
Yeah, they got a convention for everything. At
least he was clean. Boy, the guys I met when I
was with the service, you wouldn't believe. The
older ones, they were okay. Nice. Polite. Pulled
the chair out for you. But the younger ones ...
(shaking her head)
Mama used to say, dance with a man once, but if you
can feel calluses on his fingers, don't dance with
him again. She thought she had it all figured out.
But she wasn't so smart. There are killers with
palms like a baby.
Susie takes a long draw and blows the smoke out slowly.
SUSIE
(continuing)
It wasn't so bad, though. I'd get a nice piece of
steak, flowers, sometimes even a gift. Usually
whatever the guy was into. Got a socket set once.
Believe it? The guy looked like held just given me
four dozen roses.
(almost wistful)
But I stayed at the Hartford once. You should see
the rooms. All satin and velvet. And the bed.
Royal blue, trimmed in lace clean as snow. Hard to
believe sleeping in a room like that don't change
your life. But it don't. The bed may be magic, but
the mirror isn't. You wake up the same old Susie.
(pause)
I didn't always, you know. If I liked the guy ...
Susie looks at Jack, but he just takes a drink. She
looks out the window again.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Sometimes I wish the sun would never come up.
She stares at the lights another moment, then turns and
nods to the phone booth.
SUSIE
(continuing)
So what's this?
Jack frowns, takes another drink.
JACK
History.
SUSIE
Huh?
JACK
My father proposed to my mother
in there.
SUSIE
No kidding?
It's a small phone booth.
SUSIE
(continuing)
The both of them? In there?
JACK
He called her.
SUSIE
Oh. So what's it doing here?
JACK
Long story.
SUSIE
You sending me home?
Jack locks eyes with Susie, then glances away.
JACK
They'd been out dancing all night and he took
her to the train station -- she lived over in
Brookhaven. Usually held ride with her, but this
time he didn't. Anyway, he starts walking home,
only as he's walking he starts getting nervous.
SUSIE
Nervous?
JACK
By the time he gets to the corner newstand, he's
got her meeting some rich guy on the train, the
rich guy's asked her to marry him, and he's reading
about it in the morning edition.
SUSIE
You're kidding.
JACK
He had a mind that escalated things.
SUSIE
So, what happened?
JACK
He calls her, asks her to marry him, she thinks
he's crazy, he asks her again, she still thinks
he's crazy but says yes anyway, and the next thing
you know he's got his brothers down there and
they're tearing the thing right off the curb.
Susie blinks.
JACK
(continuing)
I don't know. Maybe he thought some rich guy was
gonna try and call her.
SUSIE
Wow. But I still don't see how ...
JACK
Ma didn't want it around. After.
SUSIE
Oh.
Jack glances out the window.
SUSIE
(continuing, carefully)
Frank said you saw him die.
Jack glances up quickly, surprised. He nods.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Frank said ---
JACK
Frank wasn't 'there.
Susie stops, looks down. Jack studies her for a moment,
then decides.
JACK
He took me out to the docks one day. We did that a
lot. There were other places, but he loved the ocean.
He'd worked boats as a kid. Never got rid of it.
It was always in him. He'd drink a little when we'd
go. If he drank enough, he'd do this funny Irish jig.
To make me laugh.
(pause)
He drank a lot that day.
Susie studies Jack as he stares into his glass.
JACK
(continuing)
There was a lot of wind. He was up on this cargo
shelf, right over the ocean. And he started to
do the jig. One minute he was there ...
(shrugs)
I thought it was a joke at first.
He did things like that. Games.
(pause)
I was laughing when it happened.
Jack stares at the glass in his hands, then glances
up and catches Susie looking at him.
JACK
You got pretty eyes, you know that.
INT. JACK'S BEDROOM
Jack's bed. In the darkness, we see Susie's profile,
her eyes looking up toward the ceiling. Jack's body
falls slowly across her and he kisses her neck.
EXT. JACK'S APARTMENT BUILDING - MORNING
We see Eddie, wearing his Christmas sweater,
sleeping on the fire escape.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY
Susie is dressed, sitting at the piano, staring out the
window as she absently hits a key. She is smoking one
of Jack's cigarettes. Distracted. Jack comes to the
doorway and watches her. Plink. Plink. Plink.
JACK
You gotta move 'em around if you want to
play a song.
Susie starts, looks at her hand on the piano,
pulls it away.
SUSIE
Oh. Hi. Sorry.
JACK
Coffee?
SUSIE
Yeah... No.
JACK
Look, if you want to leave...
SUSIE
Yeah, maybe ... No. God, I hate these cigarettes!
Susie throws the cigarette out the window,
then looks down.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Shit. I think I started a fire.
JACK
If our feet get hot, you grab
the piano.
Susie smiles weakly.
JACK
(continuing)
Why don't you go. I'll see you
tomorrow night at the Ambassador.
Susie doesn't move.
SUSIE
I followed you last night. I
mean, I was here. Outside. I was
about to come up when you came out.
Jack waits.
SUSIE
(continuing)
The reason I came by ... I couldn't tell Frank...
I'm leaving. The act.
Susie stares up at Jack, but he says nothing.
SUSIE
(continuing)
It's a ... I met this guy at the resort. He liked
my voice. And, it's ... He thinks I can sell cat
food just by singing about it. Can you believe it?
Susie tries a laugh. Jack nods.
SUSIE
(continuing)
You can always get another girl.
JACK
(looks out window)
There's always another girl.
INT. LOUNGE
Jack and Frank stand in a lounge, talking to NICK, the
manager. Busboys move in and out, preparing the room
for the evening.
NICK
Sick? How sick?
FRANK
The flu.
NICK
So she's got a few sniffles.
FRANK
Doctor's orders.
Nick frowns, looking at the two pianos across the room.
NICK
You got no right springing this on me, Frankie.
It's unethical.
FRANK
Look, Nick. You want us to pack up, we'll pack up.
NICK
What am I gonna do? Put a record
player out there?
(exiting)
Bad, Frankie. Bad.
JACK
(to Frank)
What're you doing?
FRANK
Just until we find another girl.
JACK
Cancel, Frank.
FRANK
You want to know how much I got tied up in
deposits with Willie? We're in for three
weeks solid, Jack.
JACK
Better give her pneumonia.
INT. BACK ROOM
Jack and Frank find themselves in the back room of
Willie's again. They do not look happy.
GIRL (O.S.)
Remember me?
Jack and Frank look up. A girl in a yellow and black
dress is in the doorway. She looks like a bumblebee.
GIRL
Monica. Monica Moran. I came in the last time
you guys were looking for a singer.
(smiling)
Perseverance. First rule of show business.
Jack and Frank just stare at her.
MONICA (GIRL)
I bought a book. That's what it says.
EXT. WILLIE'S - LATER
Frank is looking at a list.
FRANK
We got the Roosevelt on Thursday, the Park in a
couple of weeks. Larry Shelton said he'd let me
know by Friday on the Ambassador. That's it.
Frank folds the paper carefully.
FRANK
(continuing)
I got some calls out. Things
that might be good for us.
Frank looks over at Jack for the first time. He's
leaning against the building, staring at his shoes.
FRANK
(continuing)
We'll try for a girl again next
week.
Jack nods.
FRANK
(continuing)
Okay. Well, the Roosevelt then.
INT. ROOSEVELT HOTEL - LOUNGE
Once grand, now dark and dusty looking. A small crowd.
FRANK
You know, my brother and I have been playing
together, gosh, I don't know. Jack?
JACK
Twenty-eight years.
No response. Bored, brutally indifferent faces.
FRANK
Of course, uh, back then it was, uh, a little
different. We were just kids. Just about the
only one who would listen to us was the family
cat, Cecil. We must've shaved three lives off old
Cecil, huh, Jack?
Frank laughs and his voice, eerily magnified by the
microphone, is the only sound in the room.
FRANK
(continuing; hanging tough)
Yeah, well, anyway. It's nice to be back here in
the Roosevelt Room, because this has always
been ...
Frank falters as he sees Mrs. Baker enter the lounge and
seat herself at a table in the back of the room.
Jack follows Frank's eyes and spots her.
FRANK
(continuing)
a very special place for Jack and I.
(recovering)
And tonight we'd like to open with a very special
song. It's the song my mother and father danced
to the night they were married. This is for them.
INT. LOBBY
Jack watches as Frank gives Mrs. Baker a hug.
FRANK
You should've told us you were coming, Ma.
We would've come and got you.
MRS. BAKER
Spur of the moment.
FRANK
So what'd you think?
MRS. BAKER
Thrilling.
(glancing at Jack)
Both of you.
FRANK
The audience was a little off
tonight.
MRS. BAKER
A few empty tables. It's cozier.
Besides, Mel Torme couldn't fill this place
on a Wednesday night.
FRANK
I guess you're,right. Well, what do you say we
get a little midnight snack?
Theo's should still be open.
MRS. BAKER
No, no. You boys are tired.
FRANK
No, we're not. Jack?
JACK
No.
MRS. BAKER
I'm tired. Really. I should get
home.
FRANK
You sure?
MRS. BAKER
(nodding)
Just call me a cab.
FRANK
A cab? Ma, come on. My car's just a half
block down. You wait here.
MRS. BAKER
(smiling)
All right.
Frank dashes out of the lobby. Jack and Mrs. Baker
watch him go, then turn to each other. Mrs. Baker smiles
awkwardly, then surveys the lobby.
MRS. BAKER
(continuing)
It's beautiful, isn't it?
The brocade on the walls has faded and the chairs -
once covered with velvet, now with a cheap imitation -
look old and dowdy, but the room still maintains an
elegant dignity.
JACK
Yeah.
MRS. BAKER
This was quite,a place once. After the war. On
Friday nights they had dances in the ballroom
upstairs. It was beautiful. Crystal chandeliers.
White tablecloths. Orchids floating in the punch
bowls... It was a wonderful place to be young.
Jack watches his mother as her eyes pass over the room.
After a moment, she nods toward the lounge.
MRS. BAKER
(continuing)
It went well tonight.
JACK
Frank works hard.
MRS. BAKER
And you don't?
JACK
He leads, I follow.
MRS. BAKER
Is that the way it is?
JACK
Pretty much.
MRS. BAKER
He mentioned you had a girl for
a while. A singer.
JACK
For a while. She left.
MRS. BAKER
Yes, well, it's probably best.
No sense bringing someone else in.
JACK
I suppose.
Mrs. Baker glances into the lounge, at the two pianos.
MRS. BAKER
Funny. Watching tonight, I was
remembering when you were young.
How I used to stand in the kitchen, listening to
the two of you practice while I did the dishes.
(smiling)
My two little radios. Sometimes I'd stop and go to
the door and just watch. Sometimes your father
would too.
(pause)
He liked to listen to you play.
Did you know that?
Jack shakes his head.
MRS. BAKER
(continuing)
You miss him, don't you?
JACK
It's been a long time, Ma.
MRS. BAKER
Yes.
(pause)
I supposed you still have that old phone booth.
Jack nods. Mrs. Baker smiles, then it fades.
MRS. BAKER
(continuing)
His love scared me, you know. The day he died he
left a flower on my pillow.
Jack looks puzzled. Suddenly his mother reaches out
and very gently touches her fingers to his face.
MRS. BAKER
(continuing)
You look so like him.
They stand like this for a moment, connnected, then
Frank steps in from the street.
FRANK
Your limo's ready, Ma.
MRS. BAKER
All right.
Mrs. Baker takes her hand from Jack's face and turns
away. Just before she exits, she looks back.
MRS. BAKER
(continuing)
Good night, Jack.
EXT. STREET
Jack, walking home, turns a corner and suddenly stops.
Across the street, talking to a man, is Susie. She says
a few words to the man, then touches him lightly on the
arm and begins to walk away. Jack watches her retreat,
then follows, moving quicker as he draws close. As he
reaches her, he gently touches her elbow and she turns.
Not Susie. The woman stares at Jack, startled.
For a moment, he doesn't move. Finally, he lets go of
her elbow.
JACK
Sorry.
INT. CAR - NIGHT
A few nights later. Frank guides the car through wet
city streets. It's two AM and raining hard.
JACK
We're not getting paid then.
FRANK
No.
JACK
Nothing. We get nothing.
FRANK
I told you, Jack. It's a telethon.
No one gets a cent.
JACK
(a pause)
What's it for?
FRANK
I don't know. Some disease.
JACK
What disease?
FRANK
I don't know.
JACK
You don't know?
FRANK
It's a disease, Jack. We're against it.
It's not a moral decision.
JACK
(another pause)
What channels it on?
FRANK
Seventy-one
JACK
Seventy-one? What's seventy-one?
FRANK
(defensive)
A channel.
It's just a little further down the dial, that's all.
Look, it's publicity. Publicity's publicity. Right?
Jack stares at Frank.
JACK
Right.
INT. HALLWAY
Jack and Frank make their way down a hallway.
FRANK
The guy said to find Studio E and
turn right. What's that say?
Suddenly, a rapid-fire THUMPING SOUND resounds through
the corridor. As Jack and Frank turn, they see a huge
YOUTH in a wheelchair dribbling a basketball toward them.
YOUTH
Fast break!
Jack and Frank step back and watch the kid one-wheel it
around the corner.
FRANK
I guess it's that way.
INT. STUDIO
Jerry Lewis need not fear. This is strictly a tin foil
and crepe paper operation. Along one wall is the "phone
bank," monitored by a few sleepy volunteers, and opposite,
in makeshift bleachers, is the audience. A huge tote board,
set on rolling astors, is next to the phones. The total,
at 2:15 AM, is $1125.38. As Jack and Frank enter, the kid
in the wheelchair is doing basketball tricks before the
camera.
FRANK
This must be it. I'll see when
we're on.
Frank leaves. Jack glances around the studio like he's
walked into a nightmare. At the phone bank, a heavyset
MAN in a sweatshirt and a cap, looks over. Both the
sweatshirt and the cap have "Earl" printed on them.
EARL (MAN)
You the magician?
JACK
No.
EARL
(disappointed)
Oh. What do you do?
Jack points to the pianos across the room.
JACK
Piano.
EARL
(hopeful)
Two at a time?
JACK
My brother and I. One each.
EARL
(disappointed again)
Oh.
JACK
(indicating the kid in the wheelchair)
What's wrong with the kid?
EARL
Knee. Tore it up against St. Anthony's. Right
before the accident.
JACK
Accident?
EARL
The fire. The way we're going we'll be lucky to
buy a carton of jockstraps, let alone a new gym.
As Jack registers this, Earl's PHONE RINGS. Frank
returns and gestures to the kid in the wheelchair.
FRANK
We're on after Meadowlark.
(seeing Jack's face)
What's wrong?
JACK
Are you kidding me? Are you
fucking kidding me?
FRANK
What?
JACK
We're playing for a goddamn
gymnasium!
FRANK
(worried)
What?
Before Jack can further enlighten Frank, the kid in the
wheelchair rolls off and a guy in a cheap rented tux
strides in front of the camera. He's VINCE NANCY,
the host.
VINCE
Let's hear it for our own Jimmy
Marshall, shall we?
The audience applauds.
VINCE
(continuing)
As most of you'know, young Jimmy put a nasty twist
on that knee trying to win-one for good ol' Grant
High this year. Luckily, the doctors tell us
Jimmy'll be able to play next season. That is ...
if there is a next season.
(Uncle Sam)
That's where you come in. Pick up that phone.
Make a donation. Let's keep our kids off the
streets and in the gym where they belong.
Applause.
VINCE
(continuing)
All right. Well, friends, what can I say about
our next guest?
(consulting a card)
He, uh, they, uh, we are very pleased to have with
us two of the most respected men in the musical
entertainment field. I think you'll agree with me
when I tell you we're in for a real treat when I
say that we have with us ... the Fabulous Bunker
Boys! Come on out here guys.
Vince gestures grandly to the left and Jack and
Frank enter from the right.
VINCE
(continuing)
Whoops, there they are. Hey, nice
suits, fellas.
(to camera)
Now I know a lot of you amateur musicians out
there are going to want to rap with these guys and
don't worry. Right after they finish up here,
they're going to be manning the phones. Maybe we
can even convince them to raffle off a few piano
lessons if we're lucky. What do you think?
The audience applauds. Jack glares at Frank. He shrugs.
VINCE
(continuing)
Well, all right then. What are we
waiting for? Take it away, guys.
Jack and Frank poise their hands over their pianos and
begin to play. As the music rises, the studio becomes
very quiet, almost still. Unfortunately, Jack and Frank
are barely through the opening passage when a thunderously
LOUD BELL begins to RING. Suddenly, Vince steps out
again.
VINCE
(continuing)
Uh oh. We know what that means, don't we? It's
time to turn the board over.
(to Jack, Frank)
I'm afraid you fellas'll just have to wait a minute.
Let's bring out the board.
Two post-pubescent giants roll out the tote board
right in front of Jack and Frank.
Jack looks positively homicidal.
FRANK
Jack ...
Jack kicks out the piano bench and starts to leave.
Then, seeing the kid in the wheelchair, he grabs the
basketball and fires it at Vince.
VINCE
What the --
JACK
(pointing)
You're a fucking creep, you know
that. I oughta kick your ass.
FRANK
(whispering)
Jack, you're on television.
JACK
Shut up, Frank.
Earl of the sweatshirt and cap puts his hand on
Jack's shoulder.
EARL
What do you say we go for a walk,
pal.
JACK
Get your hand off me.
EARL
Come on, friend. I can smell it on you.
Get yourself a cup of coffee. You'll forget
what you're angry about.
JACK
Go fuck yourself.
EARL
(eyes go hard)
You're a real tough guy when the
ladies are around, aren't you, Ace?
JACK
I don't see any ladies here.
Except maybe you.
That does it. Earl takes hold of Jack's collar and
starts to-wrestle him roughly toward the door.
FRANK
Hey, leave him alone.
EARL
Do your brother a favor and have his mouth sewn up.
JACK
You're a lousy dancer, Earl. Don't
you know the man's supposed to lead?
Earl shoves Jack into the hallway, hard.
Jack stumbles back against the wall.
EARL
Who do you think you are, asshole?
Liberace?
EXT. STREET
Jack walks down the street, mindless of the rain.
Frank follows a few yards behind.
FRANK
Jack. We just,passed the car. Jack. This is a
tuxedo. Three hundred dollars.
(pause)
You gonna talk to me? Or is this Jack's famous
silent act? Look, it was for publicity.
Do you understand? Publicity.
Jack stops and stares at Frank incredulously.
JACK
What-are you? A fucking moron?
It's three o'clock in the morning,
Frank. Who's watching? Your wife?
Maybe you can get us a gig playing
Little Frank's birthday party.
What do you think?
FRANK
Look. I didn't know when we were going to be on
until yesterday. What was I supposed to do?
I had the pianos anyway.
JACK
Basketballs, Frank. You had us
playing for basketballs.
FRANK
I'm sorry. I should've checked it out. I screwed
up. But that doesn't mean you walk out in the middle
of a gig.
JACK
(incredulous)
What?
FRANK
It wasn't professional, Jack. It was a stunt.
A stupid-ass stunt.
Jack just stares at Frank, as if looking at a stranger.
JACK
What's happening to you, Frank? You been kissing
ass so long you're starting to like it? You let
that guy turn us into clowns tonight. We were
always small time, but we were never clowns, Frank.
What's happened to your dignity?
FRANK
Dignity? Who the hell are you to
talk about dignity?
Frank suddenly steps forward and reaches into Jack's
jacket, coming away with a bottle.
FRANK
(continuing)
This where you get your dignity, Jack?
This is where you get your courage?
Jack tries to grab the bottle but Frank holds it away.
FRANK
(continuing)
No, let's do it straight for
once, shall we?
Frank tosses the BOTTLE into the street, where it
SHATTERS.
FRANK
(continuing)
Let me explain something to you, little brother.
See, I've got people who depend on me. I've got
a wife and two children who expect to wake up every
morning with food on the table and heat in the house.
I got a mortgage. I got car payments. I got Ma's
medical bills. Oh yeah, and I got you. Yeah, you.
Jack the shadow who's so cool and so hip and so
fucking sure he's better than everyone else. Don't
you think I'd like to walk up to one of these assholes
and blow smoke in his face? Goddamn right I would.
But I can't. Because I have to be responsible, little
brother. I have to make sure the numbers balance out
in my favor at the end of each month so everyone can go
on living their lives. You don't win medals for it,
but you can be damn sure you'd all take notice if I
folded up shop. So don't talk to me about dignity,
little brother. You're drawing on a weak hand.
Jack stares at Frank through the rain,
then turns and begins to walk away.
FRANK
(continuing)
Great. Terrific. Walk away. You're good at that,
Jack. Just don't forget to stop off for another
bottle of courage on your way home.
(pause)
That's what he'd do.
Jack stops, his back to Frank.
FRANK
(continuing)
You've found the perfect solution to all the
pain in the world, haven't you, little brother?
Eight-fifty a bottle, available any time day or
night at your friendly neighborhood liquor store.
You're weak, Jack. Just like he was.
Jack turns, tough and dangerous in the darkness.
JACK
Stay off it.
FRANK
No, let's stay on it. I'm sick and tired of
watching you make him up into some kinda god.
For Christ sake, Jack, he died doing a stupid
bullshit jig. He left a wife and two sons. He
wasn't a hero. He was a fool.
JACK
(eerily cold)
You weren't there.
FRANK
That's right. I wasn't there. I don't have the
luxury of being a witness to tragedy.
JACK
(coiled)
Fuck you.
FRANK
No, fuck you. And fuck him too.
Fuck the both-of you.
Jack suddenly bolts for,ward and grabs Frank by the
lapels.
FRANK
(continuing)
Hey, what're you doing? Hey!
Jack flings Frank against the wall, pounding, pulling
and slamming him in a fitful rage.
FRANK
(continuing; scared)
Jack! ... Jack! ...
Frank slides to the ground, afraid, trying to protect
himself. Jack hovers over him.
JACK
How's it feel to have your little brother beat
the shit out of you? Huh? Huh!
Jack comes down with a vicious fist at Frank's face.
Frank holds up his hands, trying to shield himself,
and catches a blow on his fingers.
FRANK
My hands! My hands!
Jack grabs one of Frank's hands.
JACK
(mocking)
Your hands. Your hands couldn't take the blue
ribbon on amateur night.
Jack bends back Frank's fingers.
FRANK
(terrified)
Jack!
JACK
Who's weak now, big brother?
Jack pushes Frank's fingers until the knuckles crack.
FRANK
Jack! JACK!
Frank's voice echoes high above the sound of the rain.
Suddenly Jack stops. Looking at Frank's hand, still
clasped in his, he seems as shocked by his own behavior
as Frank. Letting go, he steps back awkwardly and looks
at his brother, beaten, to the ground, his tuxedo ripped
and dirty. He stares at his own hands, the knuckles split
and bleeding. He no longer looks dangerous. He looks
hollow, frightened.
JACK
I'm through with it. I can't do
it anymore.
Frank, rubbing his fingers, glances up at Jack, but Jack
just turns away, leaving Frank on the sidewalk, and
disappears into the rain. MUSIC begins. A sad, plaintive
solo piano. And we see:
SERIES OF SHOTS
Jack, crossing the street to his apartment, the rain
over now.
Frank, driving home, his face swollen and bruised in the
dim glow of the streetlights.
Jack, letting himself into his apartment and standing
there. Alone.
Frank, easing the car into the driveway, turning off
the engine.
Jack, taking a bottle from the kitchen, moving numbly.
Frank, much later, still sitting in the driveway as
the sun begins to come up.
Jack, sitting in the phone booth, the bottle in his hand.
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY
The next morning. Jack is sitting on the windowsill,
watching the RAIN DRUM the GLASS. He glances at the phone
across the room, takes another look at the rain, then goes
to the phone. He picks it up hesitantly, then dials.
It rings. Again. Again.
CINDY (V.0.)
Hello?
Jack blinks. It's Cindy.
CINDY
Hello ... Hellooooo ...
(fainter)
Daddy. Daddy! Someone's on the
phone and they won't talk.
Jack sets the phone back down on the cradle.
INT. BAR
Jack stands in a dark bar. It is early morning and the
light from the street gives the room a ghostly atmosphere.
A big, beefy MAN with a bar towel hooked in his belt is
talking to Jack.
MAN
If they wanna talk about their wife, you listen.
If they wanna talk about their job, you listen.
If they wanna talk about their parakeet, you listen.
That's it, six nights a week, nine to one or until I
send you home. Okay?
Jack nods and points to the piano in the corner.
JACK
That it?
MAN
How many you need?
Jack walks over to the giano and strikes a note.
JACK
It's out of tune.
MAN
Trust me, the way I fix a martini,
it'll be in tune.
The MUSIC RETURNS, sad and plaintive, and we see:
INT. FRANK'S HOUSE
Frank, attempting to give piano lessons to a brother
and sister tandem who would be better served by an
obedience school. While the little girl pounds
incessantly on the piano, her brother runs circles
around the room, destroying everything in sight.
MUSIC CONTINUES and we see:
EXT. STREET
Jack and Eddie, going for a walk, passing the diner
where Jack and Frank's pictures are still displayed.
MUSIC CONTINUES and we see:
INT. BAR
Jack, in the bar, playing the music we've been hearing
throughout the previous scenes. It is after midnight
and the tables are empty. Only a few somber men remain
at the bar. They do not appear to be music lovers.
As Jack finishes, he takes a cloth and wipes the keys.
There is a glass on the piano with money in it.
SUSIE (O.S.)
I thought the Bakers didn't take
tips.
Jack glances up, but he knows the voice.
JACK
I give it all to charity.
Susie nods.
SUSIE
Saw the sign outside. Got your
own sign, huh?
JACK
Yeah. Got my own sign.
SUSIE
So ... ?
JACK
We outgrew each other.
SUSIE
Yeah, well, like I said, it didn't
figure. You two.
JACK
You don't pick your brother.
SUSIE
Yeah.
JACK
So how's the cat food business?
SUSIE
Terrific. I'm doing vegetables next week.
Jack nods.
JACK
What kind?
SUSIE
Huh?
JACK
Vegetables.
SUSIE
Oh. Carrots. And peas. None of
the important ones.
Susie tries a smile. Takes a breath.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Listen... you want to get a drink? I got a new
place. Or we could go to a bar ...
(looking around)
Well, maybe not a bar. But I know
a place uptown, if you want --
JACK
I've given it up.
Susie stops.
SUSIE
No kidding? Well ... I guess you can't do a
reunion over tomato juice, can you?
(pause)
Anyway, if you're ever in the
neighborhood ... I wrote it down.
Susie takes a slip of paper from her purse and hands
it to Jack. They lock eyes for a moment.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Tell egghead I said hi. If you
see him.
JACK
If I see him.
Susie nods and walks toward the door.
JACK
(continuing)
Hey.
(as she stops)
You got pretty eyes.
Susie smiles. As she leaves, Jack studies the slip
of paper in his hand, then drops it in the tip glass.
He glances at the door, swinging slowly shut in Susie's
wake, then reaches into his coat and takes out a bottle.
INT. FRANK'S DEN
Frank sits alone in the darkness of the den. The
cardboard stand-up is there, along with several old
photographs, including one showing two skinny kids in
tuxes standing with a glamorous Peggy Lee. After a moment,
Donna enters.
DONNA
Frank? It's late, honey.
Frank stays staring at the photograph of Peggy Lee.
DONNA
(continuing)
Mrs. Lerner called after dinner. Robbie can't make
his lesson tomorrow.
Donna waits for her husband to say something, then sees the
photograph in his hand.
FRANK
You know how good he is? It's like breathing
with him. I've always envied it. But tonight,
looking at all this -- at his face -- I don't know.
Maybe it's worse. For him.
(gesturing to the piano)
It's funny. When I sit here and play ... nothing.
But when I was up there with him...
It was like I had the gift, too.
INT. FRANK'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - NEXT DAY
Frank is standing in the hallway of his house, leaning
against the bathroom door. It's locked.
FRANK
Come on, Jeremy. Open the door.
Somewhere in the house, the PHONE RINGS.
Frank ignores it.
FRANK
(continuing)
Jeremy. You want me to call your father?
He's not going to be very happy when he hears
he's spending fifteen dollars an hour for you
to sit on the toilet.
Donna, looking shaken, steps into the hallway.
DONNA
Honey ...
FRANK
You believe this? The kid won't come out. I'm
playing 'Camptown Races' for him and the next
thing I know he's locked himself in the bathroom.
There's nothing sharp in there, is there?
DONNA
Honey ...
FRANK
Where are our kids?
Has he got one of them in there?
DONNA
Frank.
Frank finally looks at his wife. She's crying.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Jack rushes down a hospital corridor and heads for the
nurses station. As he moves to the counter, Donna
appears.
JACK
Donna. Where is she?
Donna just shakes her head.
DONNA
We tried the apartment, but after
that we didn't know where to call.
Jack looks frozen.
DONNA
(continuing)
Frank'll be back in a moment.
He took Little Frank to the bathroom.
Jack begins to back away slowly.
DONNA
(continuing)
Jack ...
EXT. STREET
Jack moves aimlessly down the street, slipping in
and out of shadows. Finally he stops inside a closed
storefront, his back up against the window, and looks
down at his hands. They're shaking.
INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY
Jack stands in an apartment hallway, waiting.
After a moment, the door opens. It's Susie.
SUSIE
Jack.
JACK
Hi.
SUSIE
Well, this is some surprise.
(seeing his face)
Hey ... You don't look so good, pal.
Susie studies Jack as he glances around the hallway.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Jack?
Jack looks up.
SUSIE
(continuing)
You want to come in?
He nods. Susie steps back and Jack enters.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Let me get the light.
JACK
No.
He stares directly into her eyes.
JACK
(continuing)
Leave it dark.
INT. SUSIE'S BEDROOM - NEXT MORNING
Jack is standing at the foot of the bed, looking down
at Susie's naked back as she sleeps. He studies her
face as if looking for something, then takes his coat
and begins to leave.
SUSIE
I used to do that.
Jack turns. Susie is looking at him.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Sneak out in the morning. Before the guy could
wake up and ruin it. Never figured I'd be on
the other end of it, though.
JACK
I didn't want to wake you.
SUSIE
(smiling slightly)
Yeah.
JACK
Thanks. For letting me in last night.
SUSIE
Funny how life repeats itself, huh? Over and over.
Like a song.
Jack looks at Susie for a long moment, then nods and
turns for the door.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Hey.
Jack stops, his hand on the doorknob.
SUSIE
(continuing)
Am I gonna see you again?
Jack looks at her face, beautiful in the morning light.
JACK
Yeah. You're gonna see me again.
Susie smiles slightly.
SUSIE
Okay.
EXT. STREET
Jack is standing across the street from his mother's
house, just looking. After a moment, he crosses the
street. As he moves up the drive, he takes notice of
the tree growing in the front yard and crosses to it,
kneeling by the trunk and studying the scars there --
cat's claws -- running vertically up the tree, the
damage smoothed and widened by time. He runs his
fingers over the imperfection, then stands and walks
toward the house.
EXT. HOUSE
Through the screen door, Jack can hear a CLICKING
sound and see partially into the front door. Half
the room is cast in shadow, the other in blinding light.
He opens the door and enters.
INT. HOUSE
Inside, the movie PROJECTOR is RUNNING, the tail of a
completed FLIP SLAPPING like a whip against the carriage.
Jack TURNS OFF the PROJECTOR and the room falls entirely
into shadow. For a moment, the house is silent, full of
ghosts, then, gradually, a NOISE is heard coming from the
kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN
As Jack comes into the kitchen, he finds Frank searching
through a cabinet. He watches for a moment.
JACK
What're you looking for?
Frank turns quickly, surprised.
FRANK
I didn't hear you come in.
JACK
What're you doing?
FRANK
Oh ... I was just hoping for something to drink. But
it seems the old lady was dry. Not even a bottle of
cooking sherry.
Jack nods. Frank looks nervous.
FRANK
(continuing)
Uh, we already boxed some things. I figured you'd
want to go through Dad's stuff. It's in there.
If you want to get started.
JACK
Later.
Frank nods. Silence.
JACK
(continuing)
Is everything done? The arrangements, I mean.
FRANK
Oh. Yeah. It was all worked out before, you know.
She and Dad had taken care of it.
JACK
Right.
FRANK
I set it for Wednesday. The ceremony. They're
doing the stone today.
(pause)
It's okay? Wednesday?
JACK
Yeah, fine.
FRANK
There's not going to be a viewing.
I figured with the kids and all ...
JACK
Sure.
Jack glances around the room. Pictures on the walls.
Handmade curtains, lightly faded.
FRANK
It's funny. Before, whenever I came here, the
house seemed small. But today ... I can't keep
up with it. I keep losing my wind.
Frank smiles slightly and he and Jack lock eyes for a
moment.
FRANK
(continuing;glancing away)
God, I could use a drink.
Jack hesitates, then pulls a bottle out of his coat.
FRANK
(continuing)
Oh. Well, great. I'll get a couple glasses.
Frank moves to a cabinet, but there's nothing there.
FRANK
(continuing)
Damn. Donna must've packed
them up this morning.
Jack holds out the bottle.
JACK
Go ahead.
FRANK
No.
JACK
(showing the seal is unbroken)
Bought it on the way over. Clean
as a nun.
FRANK
No, it's not that. I ... can't
drink from the bottle. I ... gag.
JACK
Oh, yeah, right. I forgot.
Frank looks embarrassed.
FRANK
(remembering)
Oh, hey, I want to show you
something. Come on.
Jack follows Frank back into the front room. Frank
stands before one of the tiny matching pianos and
gestures Jack to the other.
FRANK
(continuing)
Hit the C. Go ahead.
Jack steps over to the other piano and taps, then Frank
does the same. Jack glances up in surprise.
FRANK
(continuing)
I'm right, aren't I? They're
in tune.
Jack hits the note again and nods in amazement.
FRANK
(continuing)
All these years. She kept them in tune.
Can you imagine?
Now why would she do something like that?
Frank looks down at the keys and his smile fades.
Suddenly he notices the collection of tiny souvenir shot
glasses on top of the piano, each bearing the name of a
different hotel.
FRANK
(continuing)
Hey, what do you know. Looks like we can have
that drink after all.
(picking up a few glasses)
What's your pleasure? We got the downtown Ramada.
We got the Travelodge on Route 41.
And ... the Mallory.
JACK
I'll take the Mallory.
FRANK
Good choice.
Frank blows some dust off the glasses.
FRANK
(continuing)
Looks like these got a few years on them.
JACK
This'll kill 'em.
Jack pours and he and Frank settle on the tiny piano
benches. As Frank swallows, he winces.
FRANK
Jesus.
It suddenly grows silent, each sitting in his old
familiar place, staring into his glass.
JACK
How're your hands?
FRANK
(surprised)
Oh. Fine. It was nothing. Couple
sore knuckles. Nothing.
JACK
You know, that night, I ... It
just all came up.
FRANK
Yeah, I know. Me, too.
JACK
I mean, you can play. You're
okay.
FRANK
(smiling)
I can keep the beat.
Jack smiles slightly, then both go back to their glasses.
FRANK
(continuing)
Charlie called.
JACK
Yeah?
FRANK
Yeah. Larry Shelton. Blackie. Couple others.
Donna said even Lloyd called the other day.
Nothing like a little absence to make the heart
grow fonder, huh?
JACK
Yeah.
Jack and Frank lock eyes again.
Frank's glance drops to Jack's glass.
FRANK
Jesus, when was the last time we played the Mallory?
JACK
Five years ago.
(thinking)
November.
FRANK
Right. It was someone's birthday.
Halloran?
JACK
Daughter's. Sweet sixteen.
FRANK
Christ, that's right. How could
I forget. What a nightmare.
JACK
She asked for it.
FRANK
I told Halloran we didn't do
vocals, but he said:
JACK AND FRANK
(in unison)
What my Sissy-wants, my Sissy gets.
JACK
She got it all right.
Jack and Frank glance at one another, little boy
mischief glowing in their faces. Suddenly they swivel
on the pianos and begin to play "You're Sixteen."
JACK AND FRANK
(singing)
She comes on like a dream
Peaches and cream
Lips like strawberry wine
She's sixteen, she's beautiful and she's mine.
Ribbons and curls
Ooh, what a girl
Eyes that sparkle and shine
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're mine.
As Jack and Frank finish, they're laughing. After a
moment, their voices die and the house is quiet again.
Full of ghosts. Each stares at the tiny keyboard before
him, awkward with the intimacy of the moment. It is
quiet for a very long time. Finally, Frank looks over.
FRANK
Well ... One more time?
Jack glances up and sees Frank has his empty glass
held out. He hesitates, then picks up the bottle.
JACK
One more time.
